


The Nearness Of You

by afteriwake



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 17:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4029193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts with an out of the blue phone call from Janine to Molly after the wedding, inviting her to a girls day out to celebrate Mary's birthday. What Molly first assumes is an attempt for Janine to get close to Sherlock turns into something else when Janine admits she's attracted to Molly. They initially settle for friendship but things become complicated when secrets, blackmail, returned attraction and failing engagements are thrown into the mix, and Molly has to decide what she wants for herself and what she's willing to do to get it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sumi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sumi/gifts).



> This is my Holmestice gift for Sumi! I have to say, this was an absolute blast to write. I actually got so into it that it was completely finished within 24 hours of me starting it, and I was asleep for eight of them. This is my first time writing a femmeslash ship for the fandom, and there were so many wonderful ideas that it was so hard to choose. I ended up settling on the two that intrigued me the most, _Janine and Molly hit it off after the wedding. Before they start something, Molly ought to break up with Tom first_ and _Janine happens to be Irene’s ex_. I'm sorry it isn't really explicit, because I usually write _maybe_ PG-13 when I write femmeslash, but there is definite angst in this and it does have a happy ending, I promise. And I got to play around with canon, so hopefully you can see this happening between "The Sign of Three" and the aftermath of Christmas Day in "His Last Vow," which is what my intent had been.
> 
> Also, credit where credit is due: the notion of potential love was found on Tumblr and was taken almost verbatim from a post by **cascadingletters** , and the title of the fic comes from the song by Norah Jones.

Molly looked at her ringing mobile. She didn't recognize the number, and being friends with Sherlock meant she was wary of getting anonymous messages or calls from people she didn't know. Of course, it could also _be_ Sherlock, so there was a chance if she didn't answer there would be a message left for her in an obtrusive way. She did not want a repeat of the billboard incident. She slid her thumb along her mobile's screen to accept the call. “Hello?” she asked warily.

“This is Molly, right?” a woman's voice asked. She recognized it, she thought, as someone involved in Mary's wedding. The woman's name escaped her for the moment.

“Yes,” she said, relaxing a bit more. “Who is this?”

“It's Janine. Janine Hawkins. Mary's friend?”

“Oh!” Molly said, her eyes widening. _Janine_. The maid of honor. The one Sherlock had rather taken a liking to. Her grip tightened around her phone slightly. She had no reason to be jealous. She had Tom, after all. Not that things had been all that wonderful since the wedding and the hand stabbing incident, she supposed. He'd been quite offended at that, which he had every right to be, but...but that wasn't important right now. “Um...hi. I wasn't expecting to hear from you. I mean, I don't know you and all that.”

“And me calling out of nowhere probably makes me look very strange,” Janine said, chuckling slightly on her end. “I know I didn't have much to do with planning the wedding, since Sherlock basically took charge, but I thought you were close enough to Mary that she'd like it if you came to the birthday thing I'm planning for her. It's a girls only day out on the town, but I thought since she has so few female friends I'd invite all the women from the wedding I could, and as she's actually _talked_ about you you might be interested.”

“Well, I don't see why not,” she said, smiling to herself. “When is it?”

“On Saturday, the day before her actual birthday. It'll be an all day type thing, really, sort of a day for her to relax and pamper herself while we join her. Saturday breakfast at The Queen Adelaide, then pampering at Cheeky Redchurch, maybe a bit of shopping depending on how long we take at Cheeky's and dinner at Amaya since she seems to be craving Indian _all_ the time.”

“That sounds like a wonderful day,” she said. “I would definitely love to join you all.”

“Perfect!” Janine said. “We're going to all meet at The Queen Adelaide and then there will be a limo that will take us round to everywhere else. All you need to do is dress nicely for the day, something like the dress you wore to the wedding but not _quite_ as fancy, and bring money for tips and shopping. We'll be meeting up at ten.”

“Then I'll be there,” Molly replied, looking at the calendar on her desk. She penciled in the time and location on the date and then turned her attention to the call again. “Should I bring a gift?”

“Oh, no. John's planning his own party for her _actual_ birthday, and I'm sure you'll be getting a call shortly for that. That's when I'll be bringing a gift, at least, though if Mary gets her heart set on something if we do some shopping I may pick it up for her.”

“She's lucky to have a good friend,” Molly said warmly.

“She's got a good friend in you as well, as do John and Sherlock.” There was a pause. “You are close to Sherlock, right?”

And with that her good mood dimmed. She should have realized there was an ulterior motive to all this. Get close to her in order to get close to Sherlock. “Yes, as close as anyone else who knows him other than John. Why do you ask?”

“I was thinking I might ask for his help with something. Getting a read on a few people. Do you think he might be willing to help? He did it at the wedding and I found it quite useful. I'm just not sure if he'd be willing to do me the favour again.”

Molly considered things for a moment. Janine probably wanted help picking her next conquest, and Sherlock would probably enjoy the chance to show off his prowess at deductions. He'd probably agree with very little fuss. “I don't see why he wouldn't,” she said finally.

“Excellent!” Janine said. “Well, I hope John gives you the invitation soon, and I'll see you on Saturday, Molly. Bye.”

“Bye,” Molly said. Janine hung up first and Molly pulled her phone away from her ear an looked at it. That was a very interesting conversation she'd just had. But it would be nice to have a girls day out. She didn't really have many female friends, just Mary and Sally and a few women who were more like acquaintances. Still, she wasn't quite sure she'd be able to go an entire day without side-eyeing Janine every chance she got. 

She set her phone down on her desk and went back to her paperwork. Tom had said he was going to be working late on his newest project, so it would be her and takeaway and a bottle of wine tonight. She had thought being engaged to someone meant you saw more of them, not less, but ever since John and Mary's wedding their own wedding plans had seemingly been put on hold. Yes, she could have handled the situation with the speech much better than she had, but it had been nearly a month now and it shouldn't still be bothering Tom, should it?

She picked up a pen to tap, a habit she tried hard to break but wasn't really successful at, and after a few minutes of that she picked up her mobile again and dialed Tom. It rang once, then twice, then three times and finally after the fourth ring it went to his voicemail. She waited for the message to finish and the beep to sound, and she put a smile on her face as she spoke. “Hi, Tom. It's Molly. I was just thinking that maybe you could come over tonight, no matter how late it is, and I could show you this new purchase I made that I think you'll find quite enticing.” She paused and her smile dimmed. “I love you, Tom. Call me soon, all right?”

She hung up and a moment later decided she really couldn't focus on the autopsy report. It was only ten minutes until the end of her shift anyway, so if she played hooky by staying in the office and doing nothing no one would be able to say anything about it on account of her being all alone. She leaned back in her chair and picked up the pen again, this time chewing on the cap attached to it. She really was no good at relationships, she realized. She was letting a preoccupation with a man who had nothing more than friendly feelings towards her ruin a relationship built on love and trust. She didn't even fancy Sherlock anymore, not really, and yet she had let him come between her and Tom.

She pulled the pen out of her mouth and reached over for a pad of paper. At the top she wrote “Things To Do” and then she drew a line under it. Under that she began to make a list. Number one was to make things up to Tom. Number two was to limit contact with Sherlock to the absolute bare minimum. Number three was to shower Tom with love and affection. She tapped the pen on the pad as she looked at the list, and then sighed. Writing it down made sense and helped her see what she had to do, but actually figuring out ways to achieve the steps? That she was having trouble with. With a sigh she tore the sheet of paper off the pad and crumbled it up, tossing it on her desk. She needed to figure out a way to make things up to Tom before she did anything else, really. But she couldn't do anything if he didn't talk to her.

She spent the last ten minutes of her shift alternating between doodling on the pad of paper and chewing the pen cap. When her relief finally arrived she went back to her flat and looked at the purchases she'd mentioned in the voicemail the minute she got to her bedroom. She'd invested in a few pieces of upscale lingerie the last time she'd gone to Harrods, mostly from Agent Provocateur, Simone Perele and Aubade, and she hadn't gotten to show any of it to Tom. She picked out the Celeste half cup plunge bra and boyshort set from Simone Perele first, and then after a moment changed her mind and pulled out the corset she'd gotten from Agent Provocateur. She had thigh high stockings to go with it, and a wrap dress to put over the corset. Yes, this would be the best way to surprise Tom. But after dinner. It would be horrible to get food stains on a £595 corset.

She went back to her handbag to pull out her mobile to call for takeaway, and when she keyed in her password she saw she had a text message. _It will be very late when we're done. Tomorrow, maybe? Love you too. Tom_ it read, and with a sigh she dialed the local Chinese food place and got her usual meal. Another lonely night for her it seemed, she thought with a sigh. Wonderful. She thought for a moment, then sent a reply text. _Tomorrow's fine._ And then she took her phone into her bedroom and put it on the charger. In the back of her mind she thought that there would be some excuse tomorrow, and that made her even more depressed. But, on the bright side, she wasn't going to have to worry about ruining any of his plans on Saturday at this rate, and it would be nice to spend some time with people who actually wanted her there. She'd have to look forward to the birthday bash, it seemed, as opposed to surprising her fiancé with sexy lingerie.


	2. Chapter 2

The girls day out was actually quite fun, Molly realized as the day had gone on. She'd spoken to a lot of the women at the reception, after the speeches and the food, and it was nice to chat with them again. Mary knew all sorts of interesting people. A few of them had even gushed about the fact that Molly was going to be getting married herself at some point, and there was talk of ideal weddings and honeymoon locales and the like. That was the part of the day where she felt the worst, mostly because if things kept going to way they were going she wasn't sure if there would actually be a wedding or not. But the rest of the conversations were quite lovely, even the ones with Janine.

She had been a bit wary of Janine after the phone call inviting her. She had been so sure all Janine was going to want was information on Sherlock, but when he was brought up it wasn't by her. Most of the time Mary did, and Molly would elaborate on some of the events, and she shared a few stories about him on her own, but it had all come up in conversation naturally. There'd been no forcing it. And Janine listened, laughed along at the humorous bits, but didn't try and steer the conversation towards anything specific. By the time their makeovers at Cheeky's were done Molly was quite content to believe she'd misread the situation entirely.

Today was the actual birthday bash, the one John had been throwing. She'd known about it before Janine told her, because John had asked for her help in planning it. He'd admitted he was afraid to ask Sherlock for his assistance because it would be “the wedding planning all over again,” he'd said, and Molly had laughed before volunteering to help. As she looked around the room she had to admit she and John had done a wonderful job planning this party. Mary looked quite pleased and was flitting around the room, chatting with everyone and making sure no one was having a bad time. It was an hour in and the presents and cake were going to happen soon when Mary got over to her. “Oh, Molly,” she said, giving Molly a hug. “You certainly did a wonderful job today.”

“Oh, your husband did actually help,” Molly said with a laugh as she embraced Mary back.

“But how much did he help is the question,” Mary said.

“He helped quite a bit, actually. I did less than you probably think I did.” She pulled away from Mary. “He had the theme and the menu almost completely sorted by the time he asked for my assistance.”

“Well, I'm quite glad he did. There's no telling what today would be like if Sherlock had been involved,” Mary said with a laugh. “But really, thank you. Between yesterday and today I think this might be my best birthday yet.”

“You couldn't possibly have had awful birthdays every year before this, could you?” Molly asked.

“Well, mostly. The ones before John, at least,” she said. “Last year wasn't too bad, I'll admit. But it wasn't as nice as this.”

“We'll just have to top this next year then, I suppose,” Molly said with a smile. She glanced over at Janine, who was talking to Sherlock. He seemed to not be bored, at any rate, and that was good. She had known he was going to be there and he hadn't planned on staying the entire time, so the fact he'd found someone else to talk to aside from his friends was a good indication he might change his mind.

Mary looked over at them too. “They seem to have hit it off well,” she remarked before drinking some of her punch.

“I suppose,” Molly said. “Maybe he'll actually stay for the entire bash at this rate.”

“Perhaps,” Mary said with a nod. “That would be nice, considering he skipped out of the reception before it got to be fun.” She turned to look at Molly. “He never would have done something like this before, would he?”

“You mean willingly socialize with people about something that wasn't a case?” she asked. Mary nodded. “I only saw it happen once, with the Christmas party, but that didn't go well.”

“John's told me about that,” she said. “Then I consider myself quite fortunate that he likes me enough to brighten my evening with his presence. And I think I'm going to go tell him that, right now.”

Molly smiled as Mary made her way over to Janine and Sherlock, and after the three of them chatted for a moment Janine began to look around. When she spotted Molly by herself she made her way over. “And here I thought I was a good party planner,” Janine said with a grin when she got close enough. “You certainly did a very good job with this.”

“John did a lot of it too,” Molly said in response. “He wanted to give his wife the best birthday ever.”

“Well, I think the both of you succeeded,” she replied with a nod. “Mary looks quite ecstatic. She's practically glowing again, like she did at the wedding.”

“I think it's the pregnancy glow all expectant mothers have,” Molly said. “But it is a bit brighter tonight, isn't it?”

“It is,” Janine said. She looked around. “Is your date still here?”

“You mean Tom?” she asked. Janine nodded and Molly shook her head. “He didn't come when I told him Sherlock would be here. He's not particularly fond of him.”

“I see,” Janine said. “Is he jealous?”

“Maybe. I don't know why, though. It's not like Sherlock flirts with me or anything. We're friends. _Just_ friends.” She took a sip of her wine. “I'll never understand men, I think.”

“Well, they'll never understand us, either,” Janine said. “But I suppose that's just the way of the world.” She looked around again. “You should go out on the floor, do a bit of dancing. I'm fairly sure there are other women who would join you if you don't feel like dancing with a random bloke.”

“I'm not in a dancing mood, and there's still so many more things I have to make sure go according to plan,” Molly said. “Maybe later, though.”

“Suit yourself,” Janine said. She lifted up her drink and took another sip. “One day I'd love to see you with your hair down, I think. Just watch you live it up a bit. I think you could be quite interesting a bit more loosened up.”

“Perhaps,” Molly said with a smile. “Maybe one day.”

“Well, I'm going to socialize a bit more before the presents and cake. That's soon, right?”

Molly checked the watch on her wrist. “About twenty more minutes.”

“Perfect. Try to enjoy yourself a little bit, all right? It's no good to throw a party if you don't have any fun at it.” Janine gave Molly a smile and a wave as she turned to leave.

Molly waved back and then looked around. There was a lot she could be doing to make sure everything went according to plan. She finished off her drink and then went back to where the kitchen was. She checked with the baker, inspected the cake one last time, and then went back out to the party and made sure the area for the presents was perfectly set up. Mary had quite a few to go through, and she knew there were one or two that John had safely stashed at their home for her to open in private as well. She turned to go and get some more wine and walked straight into someone. She froze slightly and looked up, relaxing when she saw it was Sherlock. “Planning on staying later tonight?” she asked with a smile.

“Actually, Lestrade got called in to a crime scene, and it seems the type of scene I need to view as well,” he said. “I had just come over to get my present to give to Mary now.”

“Oh,” she said quietly, her smile dimming slightly. “I'd hoped you'd get to stay a bit longer.”

“I had rather hoped I would too, honestly,” he said. “I've had some interesting conversations. I didn't get to talk to you much, though.”

“I've been flitting around, making sure everything's perfect,” she said with a wave of her hand. “You know, so John and Mary can enjoy the evening.” Then her eyes widened. “You're not going to take John with you, are you?”

Sherlock shook his head. “I'd rather hoped you might come, to be honest, but I can see you're needed here to make sure it goes off without a hitch.”

Molly thought about it a moment. “I may get involved in it regardless, depending on who Greg wants doing the autopsy. Maybe after the cake comes out I can join you?”

“Is Tom going to mind?” he asked quietly.

“I don't care if he does, to be honest,” she said quietly and then she realized she'd said it out loud and she clapped her hands over her mouth. “Oh, I'd meant to keep that in my head.”

“Are things all right with you and Tom?” Sherlock asked.

Sherlock didn't really need to know the details. “It's nothing,” she said. “We'll be fine. We'll work it out. It's what couples who love each other do, after all.” She gave him a smile. “Will Greg mind if you're a little late?”

“I don't think he'll mind too much,” he said after a moment's thought.

“Then I'll see about stepping up the timetable while you tell John he's on his own after the cake comes out,” she said, turning him around. Sherlock gave her a slightly amused grin but dutifully went off to find John while Molly went to go find Mary. She realized tonight was going to be a turning point, in that she was either going to have to fight to fix things with Tom or she might have to let him go, because she was getting quite tired of the situation as it was. Either they were going to make it work or they were going to go their separate ways. She just had to figure out exactly how she wanted things to go, and she'd work on that in the morning. For now, though, there were presents and a crime scene to worry about, and those needed to be her primary focus. The rest would simply have to wait.


	3. Chapter 3

She'd thought about it long and hard and decided to try and fix things with Tom. She owed him that much, didn't she? She loved him, after all. Two days after the party they'd talked a bit, got a few things out in the open, but it didn't seem as though any of the problems had gotten solved, just discussed, and solutions had been tabled for a later date. She didn't like it but she supposed it would take time and baby steps to get back to how they had been. They'd had a pleasant enough lunch the afternoon afterward, which was a start, and so she had hope that things might work out if they kept moving towards it slowly.

Janine had called and asked if she'd like to have dinner and drinks out with the girls while she'd been out with Tom, and after thinking about it a bit she'd called Janine back and said yes. She definitely needed more friends in her life, and Janine really wasn't that bad. She was actually quite nice, when she got past the flirting with Sherlock, which still put her on edge slightly, but not enough to completely hate the woman. And so now she was at the restaurant where they were supposed to meet, smoothing down her dress slightly. It was a good looking frock, something meant to impress: a halter dress with black and white swirls on it with a black band around the waist. She still wasn't quite sure why she'd worn it; maybe because it was an upscale restaurant, or perhaps because she was simply tired of looking dowdy? If she looked as though she was trying to impress someone, that was all right, right? Even if it wasn't her fiancé she was trying to impress?

She spotted Janine right away and lifted up her hand to wave slightly. Janine looked up with a frown and then she grinned widely. She had on a burgundy lace dress with criss-crossed ribbons at the waist, and Molly had to admit, she was envious. She felt for sure Janine looked much nicer than she did tonight and she should have worn something else. “I'm afraid it's going to be just us tonight,” she said, coming over and kissing Molly's cheek as she kissed Janine's. “Cynthia and Anjali had to back out, and Marie never returned my call. I hope that's all right,” she said.

“Oh, that's fine,” Molly said with a nod. “Their loss, I suppose.”

“Exactly,” Janine said with a grin. “But I figured I could make this my treat, since it's just the two of us. And we can order whatever we want to.”

Molly smiled a bright smile. “That sounds absolutely splendid. I was going to be a little extravagant tonight, treat myself nicely. It's been a rough week.”

“Oh?” Janine asked. “How so?”

“A very tough case to crack with multiple...” She trailed off. “Well, the work stuff isn't exactly great dinner conversation. And I suppose I'm not spending a whole lot of time with my fiancé these days. I rather thought when someone got engaged they were supposed to spend _more_ time with their partner, not less.”

“Well, if he's avoiding you then he's a bloody git,” Janine said as she picked up her handbag. “You're a very good woman to know, and I think anyone would be lucky to have you in their life.” She led the way to the maître'd and he in turn led them to a table set for two. Molly looked at her. “I told him there were definitely two of us coming tonight when I realized you hadn't cancelled on me, and possibly a third coming.”

“Ah,” Molly said with a nod, sitting across from Janine. It seemed quite cozy all of a sudden. Janine turned to the maître'd and asked for a bottle of their finest red wine, and Molly grinned at that. “Wine is always just the thing to put a bad day into perspective.”

“It certainly is,” Janine said with a nod. “Men wonder why women drink so much wine, and it's probably because wine understands us.”

Molly chuckled softly. “I suppose it does. And it doesn't tell us we're wrong or argue back with us. It's better than a best mate.”

“It's best shared with a best mate, in my opinion,” Janine said. “I know I've done some profoundly stupid things when left alone with a bottle of wine.” She looked over at Molly. “Have you?”

“Oh, loads of times,” she said. “Usually involving the ex who caused me to buy the bottle in the first place.”

“That's usually the case,” Janine said. “I've had my own fair share of times like that.”

“I think the absolute worst was when I broke up with my first boyfriend, in university,” Molly said. “I left drunken sobbing messages on his voicemail. It was pathetic. And then I decided to pay him a visit.”

“It didn't end well, I take it?” Janine asked sympathetically.

“Found him with the woman he'd left me for,” Molly said with a sad smile. “She was one of those vivacious blonde bombshells. Apparently he'd had her on the side but she refused to shag him anymore if he didn't stop seeing me, and since _we_ weren't shagging he let his naughty bits make the decision for him.”

Janine winced slightly. “Men are certainly fond of that sort of activity, aren't they?”

“Most of the ones I've met have been,” Molly said. “Not all, though.”

“Sherlock, I take it?” she asked.

“Well yes, him, but also Moriarty,” she said.

Janine's eyes widened. “You knew James Moriarty?”

“Went out on three dates with him, actually,” Molly said as a waiter came to their table with the wine. He opened the bottle and poured each of them a glass before leaving them the bottle at Janine's request. Molly picked up her wine glass and took a sip. This was a very excellent wine, she had to say. “At the time I thought he had thought Sherlock's assumption that he was gay was right, and he'd been using me to get to him. But after a while I realized he was just a _really_ good actor. I don't know whether he was actually interested in me or not, but I fell for it for two dates, at least.”

“Who ended things?” Janine asked before taking a sip of her own wine.

“I did,” she said. “Third date things seemed a bit wonky so when he asked for a fourth I said it was best if maybe we didn't see each other again. He backed off.” She had another sip of her wine. “I do know one thing, though. At the end of his game with Sherlock, when Sherlock jumped off the roof? Moriarty had set snipers on all of his friends other than me. So either I wasn't important enough to Sherlock to be killed, or...”

“Or you'd gotten to him,” Janine finished. She nodded appreciatively. “I only wish my life was that interesting.”

“Oh no, you don't,” Molly said, her eyes wide. “Trust me on this. There's a lot to be said for boring and normal.”

“Which is what you have now?” she asked, tilting her head slightly.

Molly thought about it. “I suppose, though being friendly with Sherlock does certainly add spice to my life every once in a while.”

“I can imagine. He doesn't come across as flashy, or dangerous, though,” Janine said before having some more wine. “Just very determined.”

“He can be determined to the point of pigheadedness sometimes,” Molly said with a wry smile. “But you get used to it after a while. He's changed a bit, though. Seems...more human, I suppose. Less like a human robot and more normal. It's quite lovely.”

“He's a good man, then?” Janine asked.

Molly nodded. “Yes. He's quite a good man. I'm glad to know him.” Her smile widened. “I suppose he likes you well enough.”

“I doubt it,” Janine said, shaking her head.

“He actually talked to you at Mary's party,” Molly said. “I can count on one hand the amount of people he willingly talked to, and John, Greg and I don't count because we were friends of his before his fall. That means you at the very least intrigue him.”

“I intrigue the world's greatest consulting detective?” Janine asked with a smile. “Good for me.” She had another sip of her wine. “I think I would like to talk more about you and less about him. I may intrigue him, but I'll admit, you fascinate me.”

“I'm not fascinating,” Molly said, shaking her head.

“You really don't see yourself that way, do you?” Janine asked quietly. “Well, in this instance you're wrong. You really are quite interesting, and I'd like to learn more about you. I'll even share bits about myself, if that makes you feel more comfortable. A story for a story. Is that fair?”

Molly thought about it and nodded. “That does sound fair, I suppose.”

“I'll even be nice and start,” Janine said with a smile, before launching into a story about shenanigans at the boarding school she attended when she was young. When she was finished Molly began to tell a story about medical school, and as they each sipped at their wine she found herself becoming more and more relaxed. Janine was quite an interesting woman herself, and through their dinner and another glass of wine she almost got the feeling that maybe there was a bit of flirting going on. Possibly. And it didn't seem to bother her that much, to be honest.

Their meal wound down and they were part of the way through their dessert course now. Molly usually never had dessert but this was a fancy dinner she wasn't having to pay for so she decided to splurge. A little extra on the waistline would be a fair tradeoff. Janine had been telling a story of a scandalous party she'd gone to and had turned back to her dessert for a moment when Molly spoke. “I've been having a wonderful evening, even if it has been just the two of us,” she said.

Janine gave her a smile. “I have a confession to make,” she said. “I didn't actually invite anyone else. I just wasn't sure if you'd want to have a meal and drinks just with me.”

“Ah,” Molly said with a nod. “Well, I think you're quite interesting, so I doubt I would have minded if it had been just us. I mean, women do go have meals together all the time, right?”

“Yes, they do,” Janine said. “And I find meals with other women to be more relaxing than meals with men. Men expect one thing at the end of a meal like this, even if you don't feel like giving it to them. Women don't expect the same thing, for the most part.”

“For the most part?” Molly asked.

“Some do,” Janine said before taking a sip of her wine. “I don't always mind, though, the few times it's happened for me.” 

“Oh,” Molly said, her eyes widening. 

“I don't usually put it quite like that,” Janine said, lowering her wine glass and looking at Molly intently. “But the truth is I like women more then men. I've been attracted to a few men, but women are much more interesting. So...I date men and women, but I prefer women. I know you don't, though, so I'm not expecting anything like that from you tonight. Tonight I simply wanted to get to know you better, and I think I've done that quite a good job at that.”

Molly had some more of her wine, taking it in. She was actually just a tad disappointed that Janine _hadn't_ been flirting with her, to be honest. If she had flirted, Molly didn't really think she would have minded at all. “I see,” she said after a moment.

“At the wedding, Sherlock assumed that I was interested in the men. And I was, to an extent, but there were other things I would rather have focused on. I mean, you had caught my eye, but I saw you were with Tom.” She reached over for the bottle of wine and topped off her glass. “He doesn't really seem your type.”

“Everyone else thinks he is,” Molly said. “Owing to the fact he looks similar to Sherlock and all.”

“I'll admit Sherlock is attractive enough,” Janine said. “But Tom is a pale imitation of Sherlock, and I think all of us can see that.” She had some more of her wine. “You could do better.”

“I suppose,” Molly said, having some of her own wine. She felt a bit warm at the fact she had caught Janine's eye. She doubted she caught many people's eye, or at least people who were interesting and attractive. And Janine _was_ quite pretty, she had to admit. She'd even admit that without having had two glasses of wine under her belt. She was quite lovely. And maybe she'd been flirting without realizing it. That definitely helped lift her spirits. “But there aren't many people who notice me.”

“I noticed you,” Janine said with a smile. “Even if you were scowling at me when I was having my photographs taken with Sherlock.”

“Oh, that,” Molly said, shaking her head with an embarrassed smile. “I'll admit, I saw how you looked at him and I was a bit jealous. I mean...”

“When I do date men, he is more the type I prefer physically,” she said. Then she looked at Molly shrewdly. “You'd rather be with him than with Tom, wouldn't you?” she asked, tilting her head slightly.

Molly looked down at her engagement ring. She didn't want to admit it, because admitting it would mean it was something anyone could see. It was something Tom probably saw. But it was true, and she couldn't keep up the lie anymore. “Yes,” she said quietly. “But Sherlock would never see me like that. I mean, if he had he would have done something by now, I'm sure.”

“Men like Sherlock can be quite blind to the obvious things,” Janine said. “It's in their nature.” She had a bit more of her wine. “He's missing a good thing, though. You're quite a lovely woman.”

“I suppose,” she said, grinning shyly.

“Don't sell yourself short,” Janine said with a smile. “I'm glad to know you.”

Molly had some more of her wine. “I'm glad to know you too.”

Janine studied her for a moment and then motioned for the waiter to bring the check. “We should go out, go somewhere and show off a bit. We both look stunning tonight, and I think we should celebrate that fact.”

Molly considered it. Tom rarely took her out anymore, even before the wedding, and usually never to show her off. And she quite enjoyed being in Janine's company. She hadn't gone out for a night on the town with someone other than Tom in a long time and it might be interesting to see what happened. She set her wine glass down and nodded. “All right. Let's paint the town red or something.”

“Excellent!” Janine said. “I think this will definitely be a night to remember.” She had the last of her wine. “Any place you'd especially like to go? One of the perks of working for Charles Magnussen is that I can use his name to get into some very exclusive places.”

Molly thought for a moment. “I've always wanted to go to Boujis,” she said. 

“That is a club that I can get us into,” Janine said with a nod. “Charles doesn't like to go there but there are people he has to entertain who are into that type of thing, and it is definitely a place to be seen.” She looked over at Molly. “Do you have to be home at a certain time?”

Molly shook her head. “I have tomorrow off.”

“Good. As soon as I've paid the check then let's be on our way. We have the entire evening to enjoy ourselves.” Janine flashed Molly a wide smile and she grinned back. Even though it hadn't quite been the evening she had thought it would be, and it wasn't quite over yet, she had the feeling it was definitely going to be a night to remember.


	4. Chapter 4

“You and Janine are getting quite close,” Mary said to Molly with a smile a few weeks after the “not really a date” date that Janine and Molly had been on. That was the only way she could think of it, really. At last that was how it had seemed Janine had planned it. And to be honest, she hadn't minded that much. She certainly hadn't said no to three more dinner invitations and a few lunches as well as two trips to the cinemas. Tom was only putting in the minimal effort to make things work so it was quite nice to be able to spend time with someone who actually wanted to be around her.

“Well, I don't mean to monopolize her time,” Molly said, looking down. Mary had decided she wanted to get a jump on getting a baby registry done, even though she and John didn't know the sex of the baby yet, and the two of them were currently getting a good idea of what there was to put on the list. Molly had had no idea there were so many things for babies in existence. She looked more closely at the baby bath Mary had been considering. “White is definitely the way to go for now.”

“Or yellow or green, though the green looks like the colour of smashed peas,” Mary said with a chuckle. “But back to what I was saying. I think it's a good thing. Janine's got friends, but she could use more close ones. And I think you're an absolutely lovely choice.”

“Really?” Molly asked, giving her a smile. “I'll take that as a compliment.”

“As it was intended,” Mary said with a nod. “And you could certainly do with new friends. I mean, there's me and John, Greg and Sally, Sherlock...” She paused. “Do you have any friends besides the five of us?”

“Not really,” Molly said with a sigh. “Acquaintances and coworkers I have a lot of, but friends? Not many.”

“What about people you met through Tom?” she asked.

“They're all more his mates than mine,” she admitted. “To be honest, I think some of them just tolerate me more than like me.”

“Well, then they're a bunch of prats because you're lovely,” Mary said, moving on to a collection of things for babies to chew on when they were teething. “But you should definitely keep spending time with Janine. I think you two are absolutely lovely together.”

“I suppose,” Molly said with a small smile. She actually did quite enjoy spending time with Janine, she'd realized. Sometimes when she was with Tom she felt she had to put on a face. She felt that way with Greg and John and Sherlock as well at points. But Sally and Mary had seen her at her most normal, had seen her when she wasn't nice and pleasant, when she'd had a few glasses of wine under her belt and was a bit more truthful and snarky. Others had seen it and they hadn't liked it, but so far Janine had not been among them. This made Molly quite happy.

“You know, I know the party was not that long ago, but we should do something else. Maybe a small get together at my home. It will have to be later in the month. Maybe next month if we can't do anything soon because it's been impossible to get people's schedules to sync up on short notice, but definitely before Christmas. I feel like having a grown up supper party before I have this little one and it's impossible.” She rubbed her belly, where she was finally showing. “It will be small, and obviously you're invited, and Tom if he can stand being in the same room with Sherlock. Janine since you two are attached at the hip and maybe Greg if he can make it? I know John likes having conversations with him since he doesn't see him as often. And maybe one or two other people.”

“I think that sounds like a splendid idea,” Molly said. “Though don't count on Tom being there. It's not just the fact he isn't fond of Sherlock. He's been busy lately. But whatever day you set it up for I'll make sure I'm free. I may even help with the cooking.”

“Oh, I'd cheat and get it catered,” Mary said with a chuckle. “But we can all pretend I did the actual cooking.”

Molly laughed as well. “Well, then, I'll come over and help set up while you pretend cook.”

“Deal,” Mary said with a nod. She picked up one of the teething toys. “I really hope I don't need one of these. I get the feeling if the baby is teething or gets colic I'll go insane.”

“You'll do just fine,” Molly said, putting her hands on Mary's shoulders and squeezing. “I know it.”

“I hope so,” Mary said. She set the toy down. “Have you and Tom talked about children?”

“Only vaguely,” Molly said. “I'm not entirely sure he wants any anytime soon. Maybe later, but there's a lot going on in his life now.” She picked up a different toy. “Did you and John plan to have children so soon after getting married?”

“Oh, not at all,” Mary said. “But we're both quite happy for her.”

“You really have your heart set on a girl, don't you?” Molly asked with a smile.

“I would definitely love a daughter. We can try for a son later, but I'd love our first child to be a girl. I have visions of buying dresses and doing her hair and then John showing her how to shoot guns and Sherlock taking her to crime scenes,” Mary said.

Molly laughed. “And there will be trips to the morgue as well, I take it? Because Aunt Molly shouldn't get let out.”

“Oh, but of course,” Mary said with a laugh of her own. “No reason to leave you out.” She took the toy from Molly's hand and pointed to the clothing. “Let's see what kind of adorable baby clothing there is for girls. Maybe if I describe it to the baby often enough I'll have a girl who likes dresses.”

“Or a boy who likes dresses,” Molly said.

Mary considered it. “I'd be perfectly okay with that, to be honest. Not quite as sure about John, but if my son wanted to wear dresses I'd take him to Harrods and get him the prettiest damn dresses ever.”

Molly reached over and hugged Mary's shoulders. “And that's why you're going to be such a great mum, Mary.”

“You really think so?” Mary asked, reaching up to hold Molly's arms.

“I know so.” She let go. “Let's go see how pretty the girls clothing is.” She and Mary moved over to the clothing, oohing and ahhing over the various baby garments, and Molly even purchased a few things for the baby's nursery before she and Mary went to lunch. When they were eating Molly got a text message from Janine asking her to join her for a drink after work at Mizuwari. Molly texted back that she'd be there as soon as she got back to her flat and changed out of her denim trousers and button down shirt. Mary had been quite amused by it all and suggested they go out and get Molly something nice to wear that she could also wear on a date with Tom. Molly hadn't had any objection to that and she ended up with a sleeveless red scoop neck dress that was knee length with an bottom layer in black that stuck out a bit. It was gathered at the waist with a leather belt tied off in a bow. She'd gotten black heels to match and Mary had convinced her to add a chunky black obsidian bracelet to the mix. Molly had jokingly asked if Mary was trying to get her to catch someone else's eye and Mary had just given her an innocent look and said anyone could look as long as Molly didn't let them touch.

When they were done shopping it was a couple hours until she was going to meet Janine. She decided to wear her hair down but straight instead of in its naturally wavy state. It took her some time to get it all done, but she thought she looked smashing. After a moment she decided to see if maybe she wanted to cap off her evening with a dinner date with Tom, and so she sent him a text. She waited ten minutes, then twenty, and finally just before she had to head out the door she got a text back, asking if they could have dinner tomorrow night and he would make it up to her. She sighed and texted back that that was fine, and after a moment she went back to her bedroom and spritzed on some very nice perfume before getting her clutch and heading out the door.

She got to the address Janine had texted and saw she was at a restaurant called Izakaya and spotted Janine there. “So,” Molly said slowly. “This is a restaurant. Where is Mizuwari?”

“It's the speakeasy that's inside,” Janine said with a smile. “It was kind of a big thing in the States in the 1920s and having hidden bars caught on here. I thought you might like this one a lot, even if it's more known for its whiskey than anything else.”

Molly grinned as well. When it came to hard liquor her favorites were whiskey and vodka, so she felt for sure she would like this place. “How do you get there?”

“You have to go past the main floor and down a dark stairwell to the basement, but that's where it is,” she said as she opened the door to the restaurant. “It's a very interesting place. Not quite as hush hush as a few other speakeasies, but still a good place to unwind.”

They made their way inside and Molly followed Janine's lead. Soon enough they were down in the basement and at the bar. She took in the surroundings and decided she already liked the place even though she hadn't had a drink yet. They went to the bar and Janine placed their orders for them and when they were ready Molly took a sip. “There's citrus in this,” she said.

Janine nodded. “They do all sorts of interesting things with whiskey here,” she said. “It's not often I want whiskey, but when I do I come here.”

Molly took another sip of the drink. It was actually quite exquisite. They made their way to a more secluded spot in the bar and sat down facing each other. “Any specific reason you want whiskey tonight?” Molly asked.

“Things are getting quite complicated at work and it's all I can do to keep up with a project Charles has me doing,” she said. “I thought whiskey was needed tonight instead of bottle after bottle of wine.”

“What type of project is it?” Molly asked.

“An interpersonal one,” she said. “I have to spend a lot of time with someone and get to know them quite well. I do this sometimes for him. The person I'm with is not a bad person, but it's taking up a lot of my time. Tonight was a night of freedom and I decided I wanted some feminine company for a change.” She had some more of her drink. “I thought for sure you'd have plans tonight.”

“I asked Tom if he wanted to have dinner later tonight since I'm dressed up but he said tomorrow would be better,” Molly said with a sigh.

“Well, don't wear that for him,” Janine said. “If he can't be bothered to see it when you've put in such effort and look as smashing as you do then he doesn't deserve an encore performance.”

“I suppose so,” Molly said thoughtfully.

Janine was quiet for a moment. “How often do you actually spend time with him?”

“Two or three nights a week, and maybe once or twice for lunch,” she said. “He just seems to be really busy lately. I suppose he has a deadline approaching for a project at work.”

“Did he volunteer for this project?” Janine asked.

“I don't know,” Molly said after some thought. “If he did, he has his reasons.”

“Promotion?”

“Probably,” Molly said with a nod.

“Or maybe he's just avoiding some bigger issue,” she said. “I mean, he's not exactly the biggest fan of some of your friendships, is he?”

“You mean Sherlock,” Molly said quietly. “No, he's not particularly fond of Sherlock. But it's not as though I see him much aside from helping with cases. I spend more time with you than I do him.”

“Then you should tell Tom that. Or you can let him join us one night.” She had another sip of her drink. “I think if he wants to make you happy he needs to make an effort. If he doesn't make an effort, then maybe he doesn't want you to be happy.”

Molly had some more of her drink as she thought it over. “You could be right,” she said. She reached over for her clutch and pulled out her mobile. “I'll ask him to join us now.”

“Good,” Janine said. 

Molly pulled up his contact and then hit send. It rang and rang, and then she got his voicemail. “Voicemail,” she said to Janine.

“Tell him to meet us upstairs for dinner,” she said. “We'll be up there in maybe forty-five minutes and he can join us up there instead of trying to find the bar.”

Molly nodded and then heard the beep. “Tom? It's Molly. I know you said you wanted to have dinner with me tomorrow, but I'm out with my friend Janine now and--” It clicked after a moment. “Tom?” she asked.

“Her name is Janine?” Tom asked. “I thought for sure...never mind.”

“You thought what, Tom?” Molly asked curiously.

“I thought you were spending all your time with John and Mary and him,” he said.

“Sherlock has a name, you know,” Molly said, her tone slightly sharp.

Tom sighed. “I know.”

“Well, I've been spending time with Janine. We've gone out to get a drink at Mizuwari. It's a bar at a restaurant called Izakaya. Janine suggested we all have dinner at the restaurant.”

“I'd join you but I've got a deadline coming up and it's rather short notice. Tomorrow I can make time, but...”

Molly sighed. “Fine. We'll do something tomorrow. I hope you meet your deadline.”

“Thanks,” he said. “I'll talk to you later, all right?”

“All right. Good-bye, Tom.”

“Bye, Molly.” 

She had almost hung up when she paused. “I lo--” she began, but then she heard a click on his end. “Love you,” she finished lamely.

Janine looked at her intently. “I think dinner should wait.”

Molly nodded and had a bigger drink of her drink. “Definitely.”

“When you're done with that I'll get you another one,” she said. “Then we can have some Japanese food and at least have an enjoyable evening with each other.”

“Yeah,” Molly said with a nod before having more of her drink. If that phone call wasn't a sign that there were things in her relationship with Tom that needed serious work she didn't know what it was. But right now she was honestly wondering if it was even worth trying to fix things, and that was a very troublesome type of thought to be having.


	5. Chapter 5

“You know, a night in is just what I needed,” Janine said. Their schedules had been a bit hard to sync together lately, because apparently Janine's interpersonal project she was working on was very time intensive. Molly had been filling up the time with extra shifts and other friends and on increasingly rare occasions her fiancé. She was starting to wonder if the project he was working on was actually a project or if it might be something else. She hadn't immediately thought he might be seeing someone else, but the idea had crept up more and more the last week or so. She'd wanted to talk about it with someone, and not in public, but Mary had planned a romantic night out with her husband and she didn't want to take this to Greg even though he had firsthand experience with the situation. She was quite thankful Janine's schedule had cleared up because the only other person left for her to talk to was Sherlock, and she didn't really want to imagine how that conversation might go.

“I just realized all the time we spend together we go out on the town,” Molly said with a smile as she worked on fixing the salad. “And besides, I've never cooked for you before. I'm quite proud of my culinary skills and I never get to show off anymore.”

“So I suppose your fiancé is spending even less time with you?” she asked, leaning against Molly's kitchen counter with a glass of wine in her hand.

Molly nodded, turning to look at her. “He says it's another project. I mean, he does spend time with me, but not as much as before. It's quite a noticeable difference.”

“From when?” Janine asked.

“From before the wedding,” she said. “And even then, he'd been spending less time with me since the press conference.”

“He really does not like Sherlock, does he?” she asked, taking a sip of her wine.

“I think he views him as competition, and he's really not,” Molly said. “If he was going to make a move I think he would have made it by now. But he's...Sherlock. He's not interested in anyone, as far as I can tell.”

Janine was quiet for a moment. “Or, he really could simply see you as a close friend.”

Molly sighed. “I suppose. But that's a blow to the ego.”

“Oh, I know it is,” Janine said with a laugh. “If Tom really wants to be afraid of competition he should worry about me. After all, I'm attracted to women, I have stated that I find you appealing, and I _do_ spend a lot of time with you. For all he knows I could sweep you off your feet and make you forget all about him.”

“Sometimes I wonder if that would be a bad thing,” Molly said, going back to the salad. “At least then I would feel wanted.”

“Does he know the whole truth about me?” Janine asked, tilting her head.

“He knows you like men and women and prefer woman, but he doesn't know I caught your attention at the wedding,” she said. “If I thought his attitude towards Sherlock was bad I could just imagine what he'd say about you.”

“To be honest, I think he should know,” she said. “Maybe if he realized I could be a legitimate threat he'd make it a point to give you more attention.”

“But he'd also make me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with you, and I don't want that,” Molly said, turning to look at her again. “I like spending time with you. You interest me. I mean, I find you interesting.”

Janine looked at her curiously. “Is here anything he does that you object to? People he's friends with, habits that annoy you?”

Molly shook her head. “Not really. I don't like that he makes me feel guilty for having the friends I have. He definitely doesn't like Sherlock, and he's not too thrilled with Mary either.”

“Mary does have her opinions,” Janine said with a grin. “And she's not afraid to voice them, either.”

“I want to be that way,” she said. “I mean, I voice them sometimes, but only when I have to. The rest of the time I let people walk all over me like a doormat.”

“John said that's changed over the years. Ever since some Christmas party he threw,” Janine said thoughtfully.

“Oh yes. _That_ was an interesting night,” she said with a wry smile. “That was the first time Sherlock ever apologized to me, but only after he humiliated me in front of my friends and John's girlfriend at the time.”

“What happened?” Janine asked.

“I arrived later than everyone else,” she said. “And I came bearing gifts. Most of them I wrapped myself, and even I'll admit that I'm not that good at it. But Sherlock's I had wrapped when I bought it, so it looked quite nice. Sherlock was already in a foul mood, and he zeroed in on the gift and managed to make me feel horrible. And I'd had enough so I said something back. And that was when he realized the nice gift was for him. He apologized and kissed my cheek.” She brought the salad to the table. “That was the first time he'd done either of those things, actually. Of course, that was also the night I had to do an autopsy of someone Sherlock recognized even though her face had been bashed in, so that put a damper on the evening.”

“How did he...?” Janine asked before it hit her. “Oh.”

Molly nodded. “There's at least one woman in this world he's seen naked, apparently.”

“That must have been awkward,” Janine said.

“For me, yes. For him? Never.” She went back to get their dinner out from the oven. She'd made a homemade Alfredo sauce with chicken to put over angel hair pasta and had put the sauce in the oven to keep it warm without burning the bottom of her pan. She took the sauce and put it into a serving bowl with a ladle, and then put the drained pasta in another bowl and took both bowls to the table.

Janine moved away from the counter. “Do you remember what her name was?”

“Irene Adler,” she said.

Janine paused. “The dominatrix? He's seen her naked?” she asked.

“Apparently. He identified her for me just by looking at her figure,” She went to the refrigerator and took out the bottle of wine, topping off her own glass before moving over towards the table. She sat down on one side of the table and Janine sat across from her after a moment. “She left an erotic moan on his phone as her ringtone, though. For a moment after he kissed my cheek I was worried everyone in the room had thought I'd done it.”

“I almost want to say poor Sherlock, but...Irene was a stunning woman,” she said.

“I suppose,” Molly said. Then she paused. “Did you find Irene attractive?”

Janine hesitated. “I did. She was certainly quite voluptuous, and she wore clothing that definitely enhanced that figure.”

Molly was quiet for a moment. “I see.”

“You're quite stunning yourself, you know, just in a different way,” Janine said, giving her a reassuring smile. “I wasn't a huge fan of the hat at the wedding, but your outfit hugged at just the right curves, and it was a very fetching shade. And I have to say I've definitely enjoyed some of the things you've worn when we've gone out on the town.” She reached over for the bowl of pasta. “Sometimes I even like to think you've dressed up to impress me.”

“Well, if I'm going to go out I like to look my best,” Molly said, a satisfied smile on her face. “If it's appreciated by someone, so much the better.”

“I definitely agree,” Janine said with a nod.

“Part of me just wishes the person I _should_ be impressing actually saw me in it,” she said as her good mood dimmed. “But he's always so busy. Or at least he says he is.”

Janine stopped moving. “Do you think he's cheating on you?”

“I don't know,” Molly said with a sigh. “I just know he's pulling away from me. I'm not even sure whether it's worth it to try and fix things sometimes. I mean, if he's drifted far enough away to cheat, then what's the point?”

“I can't say whether he is or isn't,” she said. “But if he is, he's a wanker who doesn't deserve you, and I hope his naughty bits wither up and become dust.”

Molly smiled despite herself. “Thank you, Janine.”

“You could ask Sherlock to find out for you, you know,” she replied. “He'd probably relish the idea of making Tom's life hell if he is.”

“I've actually considered it,” she said. “I just...I'm not sure I want someone else to tell me. I'd rather he tell me himself.”

“I know the feeling,” Janine said. “It's worse when everyone knows but you.”

“You've been cheated on?” she asked.

“A few times. The one that hurt the most was in university. My first girlfriend, actually. She was a bit of a flirt, and she had a tendency to have wandering hands. We had a few rows about it before we realized we liked each others company but not being in a relationship.” She had some of her wine. “We're actually still good friends, even now.”

“I'm not friends with any of my exes,” Molly said. “Mostly because I've either been dumped by them or they aren't around anymore.”

“Always the dumpee, never the dumper?” Janine asked as she finished with the pasta.

“Basically,” Molly said with a nod, taking the bowl from her.

“If you do end things with Tom, maybe this time will be different,” she said.

“Maybe,” Molly conceded. “I'm not as much of a doormat as I used to be, I suppose.” She waited for Janine to finish ladling sauce on her pasta before she picked up the ladle. “Should I end things with him?”

Janine was quiet for a moment. “Do you want my selfish or my unselfish opinion?” she said finally.

“Both,” Molly said.

“My selfish opinion is yes, you should, if for no other reason than there might be a chance I could act on my own attraction. Whether it would blow up in my face or not is another matter, but that's the plain fact of it.”

She let that sink in. “And your unselfish opinion?” she asked.

“You shouldn't let other people make your decision for you,” she said. “In the end, it comes down to what you want, what you think you deserve, and what or who you want in your life. When you get that figured out, then you'll know whether you should end things or not.” She gave Molly a small smile. “It's not particularly helpful advice, I know, but it's the truth.”

“No, it is helpful,” she said. “It's just not what I wanted to hear.”

“Well, when we're done with our meal maybe we can curl up on the sofa and you can introduce me to Glee,” Janine said. “I'll admit I've heard a few of the songs and liked them, but the show itself never really interested me. Maybe you can change my mind about that.”

“Maybe,” Molly said with a small smile. “But that sounds like a good way to spend the evening.” Janine gave her a grin back and then began to serve herself some of the salad. Molly watched her for a moment, not sure if she should be worried about the fact that the idea of curling up on the sofa with Janine had made her feel rather warm inside and excited for the rest of the evening. She wasn't quite sure what that meant, but having heard her selfish opinion she wasn't sure she wanted to give her encouragement, just in case she did decide to work things out with Tom. Though, she had to admit that at this point, she wasn't sure just how much she still wanted to.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been a couple of weeks since the last time Molly had gotten to see Janine, when she'd come over and Molly had cooked for her, and the invitation for dinner at Janine's flat couldn't have been timed better. It had been a very long few days full of complicated and on a few occasions disgusting autopsies for a case requiring all hands on deck, and Sherlock had seemed to be a bit more of a prat than he had been lately because he felt she wasn't doing her autopsies fast enough. She had been quite cross when she reminded him she had to autopsy every body sent to her, even the ones not involved in any of his cases, and she liked to be thorough with all of them. It had almost seemed as though there was someplace he'd rather be. Well, there had been places she'd rather be as well, and yet she was stuck at the hospital, making the best of things. Thankfully the case was solved and she had a day off in two days, so she could have a chance to relax. Hitting the home stretch of a stressful week with a homemade dinner and good company was a splendid thing.

They'd had coq au vin, and Molly had been incredibly impressed by Janine's culinary skills. She'd helped where she could in making the dish, and she enjoyed the ease at which the two of them were able to work together. The meal had turned out splendidly, and now she was sitting on Janine's sofa as music played in the background. Currently it was a soothing jazz piece, and Molly definitely wanted to find out who performed it so she could listen to more of their music. “Made any further decisions on your relationship?” Janine asked, bringing over two glasses of wine to her sofa. They'd avoided the topic of Tom through the entire evening, but Molly had known he'd come up at some point.

Molly shook her head. “Not really,” she said. “He mentioned maybe actually planning the wedding, but then he blew me off. I mean, he was going to leave it mostly up to me anyway. He'd just give his opinion on the important bits, like food and cake and maybe guest seating. But not actually showing up to make the plans? I don't take it as a good sign.” She took one of the glasses from Janine and took a long sip. She had known it was going to be a good vintage, because Janine had good taste in her food and wines, and she'd been right. After taking a second sip she set it on the table. “It's so frustrating.”

“Have the two of you even set a date yet?” Janine asked.

“We thought it would be best in the spring, in April,” she said.

“That's not a lot of time to plan something,” she said. 

“No, it's not,” Molly said quietly. “And I think he knows it, too. I just don't know if he cares.”

Janine was quiet for a moment as she sipped her wine, studying Molly. She looked over at her and soon she gave Molly a nod. “We should change the subject.”

“Lovely idea,” she said in a tone of relief. “What's your life been like lately? I know we've chatted on the phone but it's mostly been about me. I don't know much about what you've been doing.”

“It's been quite hectic,” she said. “There are some deals in the works between Charles and a few other people, so there are long meetings and lunch and dinner meetings and very long work nights. And the interpersonal project is still going on. Hopefully it will all be settled soon enough, though.” She set her own glass down on the table. “It doesn't leave me much time for a social life these days, and I apologize for that. I should spend more time with the people I care about and not let work consume my life.”

“It's all right,” Molly said with a smile. “I shouldn't monopolize your time anyway. I mean, you have people you're close to other than me.”

“I do,” she said with a nod. “But I don't want to spend as much time with them as I do you.”

“Ah,” she said with a nod. “I...truth be told, I quite prefer spending time with you over other people as well.”

Janine looked down. “Do you think...” She paused, and then looked at Molly. “I know you have Tom, even if you're questioning whether it's still worth keeping your engagement to him. And I know that your entire life you've been attracted to men. But is there a chance that you're attracted to me? Or are we going to simply be friends for as long as we know each other? I can stay friends. I can forget any attraction I may feel towards you. But I want to know now before anything changes. Before you make any solid decisions, once and for all.”

Molly was quiet for what felt like a long while. She liked Janine, quite a bit. And sometimes, in the back of her mind, she'd imagined how things might go if things took a romantic turn. If she'd shared these thoughts with anyone she was sure they'd be scandalized, but they were there. She'd never really had them about another woman before, not to this same degree, but they didn't feel at all strange. It felt normal, quite like how fancying a young man in school had felt. The stuff of daydreams and what ifs. “There is a chance,” she said finally. “But...I _am_ engaged to Tom, so unless I end things with him we shouldn't act on it.”

Janine nodded. “All right then,” she said. “Friends it is, unless things change.”

Molly picked up her glass again, swirling the pale liquid around in the glass slightly. She'd lived a life full of regrets, where she'd made the choice she was expected to make, the safe choice. She didn't want to have any more regrets, even if it might cost her something else. Once, just once, she wanted to make the choice that wasn't expected. She wanted to see if there was something more. She took another large sip of wine. “I would, just once, at least, like to...” she said, staring at her glass of wine.

“It's all right if you kiss me,” Janine said, setting down her glass again. “Just to see if there is anything there.”

Molly nodded and set her glass down as well. She looked over at Janine, who was giving her a warm smile, an inviting smile. She didn't expect to be nervous, but she was. How different was it kissing another woman than it was kissing a man? And oh God, she was the one initiating it. It was much easier when the person she was kissing started it. But after a moment she moved closer to Janine, turning to look at her. Janine reached over, brushing a strand of hair away from Molly's face. “I'm nervous,” Molly said.

“If it helps, there isn't that much difference in kissing a woman. We're just a bit more nuanced,” Janine said. “But I can kiss you, if you want.”

“No,” she said. “No, I want to do this, so I should kiss you.”

“Well, I want to do this too, or I wouldn't have said you could,” she said, letting her fingers graze Molly's cheek. There was a tenderness in the touch that she hadn't experienced with anyone else, not even with Tom. She shut her eyes and savored it. In response, Janine let her fingers glide a little further along, tracing Molly's jawline, and then moved a single finger up and traced the outline of her lips.

Molly leaned forward more and Janine did the same, her finger dropping from Molly's lips. After just a momentary hesitation Molly pressed her lips softly against Janine's. Janine added just the smallest amount of pressure to the kiss, and after a moment the tip of her tongue darted out against Molly's lips as she moved her hand to Molly's neck and caressed it softly near her jawline. Molly parted her lips slightly, then more as the kiss deepened and she pressed closer to Janine. This felt wonderful, she thought as she moved a hand to Janine's waist, partly to steady herself and partly to stay close. Janine changed the angle of the kiss slightly and moved to pull Molly more on top of her, leaning back against the arm of the sofa at the same time. Molly obliged, settling her weight on top of Janine as they slowly moved. The kiss intensified and Molly grew more confident in it, taking what Janine would give her and still wanting more. When Janine's back hit the arm of the sofa there was no interruption in the kiss, only a momentary pause before Janine pulled Molly even closer and Molly let her.

They continued to kiss until they needed to catch their breath. Molly pulled away first, breathing hard. She hadn't had a kiss like that before, where there was such a need behind it, not with any of the men she'd kissed. She felt as though she was electric, as though the lightest touch of Janine's fingers on her would send off sparks, and she wanted to feel more. She felt alive, more alive than she had in such a long time. But then reality kicked back in. She shouldn't do this. She shouldn't have kissed Janine in the first place and she certainly shouldn't do it again. She was in a relationship with someone else and it wasn't fair to him that she was snogging someone else. She pulled away and looked down at Janine. “I...”

“It was just a kiss,” Janine said quietly.

“But it was a kiss while I'm with someone else,” she said quietly. “And I don't want to hurt him.”

Janine nodded. “You aren't the type of person who likes hurting people. I think that's one of my favorite things about you.”

Molly moved away more. “I should go. I mean, before...in case...” Oh God, now she was rambling. “I should go.”

Janine sat up. “Maybe that's best.”

Molly got off the sofa completely, looking around the sitting room, anywhere except at Janine, until she couldn't avoid it. Janine had sat up and picked up her wine glass, taking a sip. “I'm sorry. I'm...I'm sorry,” she said.

“Molly,” Janine said gently. “It's all right. I understand. When you want to talk, if you want to talk, you can call me. I'll answer your call no matter what else is going on.” She gave her a small smile, which seemed to be tinged with sadness. “It will be fine.”

Molly nodded slowly, then went to get her coat and her handbag by the door. She slipped on her coat and then opened the door, pausing for a moment before she left. She thought about saying something but changed her mind, leaving Janine's flat instead. She shut the door behind her and then rested her had against it, shutting her eyes. It had been such an exquisite kiss, but it never should have happened. Still, she knew that it was going to stay long on her mind, and when the thoughts that would scandalize others came to the forefront tonight they would be based in something more than pure fantasy.


	7. Chapter 7

She woke up the next morning after leaving Janine's flat to a text message from Janine. The simple _It's all right. Take your time._ message from Janine had made Molly think she understood. She had every right to be upset, though. To have someone kiss you and then bolt could be a severe blow to anyone's ego, especially when the person had said they shouldn't do anything because said person was in a relationship with someone else. And yet she'd kissed Janine anyway. And the worst part? She didn't regret it. There had been something in that kiss that had been missing in the kisses she'd shared with Tom. In fact, she didn't think she'd felt that same kind of spark when she kissed Tom. _A_ spark, yes, but nothing on that magnitude.

She took a shower verging on the cold side to wash away the fragments of the dream she'd had the night before. The dream that had absolutely nothing to do with her fiancé, either. She had just known that was going to happen. She couldn't dwell on it today, though. She had a partial day at work because she was leaving early to help Mary set up for the dinner party. That was going to be interesting, she knew, since Janine was going to be there. She really hoped she could look her in the face and act normal. If she got tongue tied and flustered it'd be extremely embarrassing, especially since all her close friends would be there. But not Tom. Tom had declined the minute he found out Sherlock had said he'd be there, just like she'd known he would. At the time she'd been mildly upset but now she was thankful. She didn't think she could be in the same room with both Janine and Tom without something being said.

She'd bought a dress especially for the occasion, a scoop necked sleeveless sea foam green dress with a pleated skirt and a ribbon in matching color tied around the waist. Mary had seen it and suggested she wear her hair up and a string of pearls around her neck. Molly had joked she'd come off as a retro 50's housewife but Mary had thought she would look quite fetching. Molly almost had to wonder if Mary suspected something was developing between her and Janine, the way she was acting, or whether she hoped Molly would be with _anyone_ other than Tom. Mary had been voicing her disapproval of Tom putting her off more and more lately, and she had to admit Mary had some valid points.

She put the dress in a garment bag to take with her to the hospital. She could do her hair and make-up in the ladies locker room almost as well as she could at home, and the more time she had to help set things up for the party the better. It was going to be a busy day, because she still needed to get through at least 2/3rds of her autopsies before she could go, and Lestrade and Dimmock had both asked for her to pay special attention to their victims. She liked both of them, Lestrade more than Dimmock, so if it came down to it Lestrade's victim would get a higher priority, but they would both get done today if she could manage it.

Breakfast today was going to be two scones and a cup of coffee from the bakery she liked near the hospital because she'd taken longer in the shower than she'd planned on. But today, because there was a time crunch, there was obviously a line and so she was nearly twenty minutes late to work by the time she walked in, garment bag and bag of scones in one hand, coffee in the other with her handbag balanced on that arm. And of _course_ she had someone waiting for her, she realized as she heard tapping in her office. “Whoever is in there you had best not be on my computer,” she said as she tried to shift things to open the door.

“It's just me,” Sherlock said. “I was leaving a note, and with the state of things on your desk I figured it was easier to get my results by logging into your files than to leave you a note which would obviously get lost.” His voice had been getting closer as he spoke and after a moment the door opened and she looked up at Sherlock. “You should organize better.”

“I'm not going to ask how you know my login ID and password,” she said, coming into her office.

“ID is simple: first initial of first name, first initial of last name, hospital ID number,” he said as she looked for a place to set things down. He took her garment bag from her and hung it up on the coat rack. “The password was trickier, but eventually I figured it was your cat's name and your parents wedding anniversary.”

She glared at him. “I'm going to change it as soon as I can.”

“And I'll figure out the new one as well,” he said. “I got what I needed, however, so I'll leave you be.” He moved around her to the door and then paused. “You're never late. I can always count on you to be here on time. Usually you're here earlier than you need to be, actually. Are you distracted?”

She nodded. “I am, but it's nothing. I just need to sort a few things out.”

“Is it about Tom? I've noticed the few occasions I'm with you and John and Mary she seems to make a pointed comment about how he's too busy to make an appearance.”

“It's partially about him,” she said, not really wanting to talk about it. “It's nothing, really. Just some thoughts I need to sort out in my head. I'll have to push it all to the side today, though, because if I'm going to help Mary with the party tonight I need to get work done quickly, and to do that I need to concentrate.”

“I can help her,” he said. “I mean, help both of you. But I can be there as well, in case you're late.”

She thought it over for a moment. “I don't suppose it would hurt. But don't you have a case to focus on?”

He shook his head. “The details you put into your report have solved the case.”

“Whose autopsy report?” she asked, narrowing her eyes slightly. “And what details?”

He gestured to her computer. “My note is still there. I'll need to be there around what time?”

“Four,” she said.

“I'll be there, then. I'm sure Mary would rather have you do the autopsies correctly the first time then rush through them. Join us when you can.” And with that, he left. She shook her head and sat down at her computer, looking at the note he'd left before going over the report. After she was satisfied he hadn't changed anything in the report she went and requested a new password, and then began her autopsies for the day.

It took her longer to get through Lestrade's autopsy than she had originally planned, and that set everything else back as well. It was nearly three thirty when she felt satisfied that she had done 2/3rds of the autopsies, even though her relief had arrived at three, and then she very quickly took her things to the locker room, taking a quick shower before she changed. She did a quick but efficient job with her make-up and put her hair into a knot at the nape of her neck. A few quick spritzes of the perfume she kept in her locker and no one would be able to tell she'd spent six hours cutting into dead bodies. But she was also cutting it close; there was no way she was going to get to Mary and John's until at least four thirty, she realized once she was outside and in the cab. She just hoped Sherlock really had shown up at four to help.

It was four twenty-six when she arrived, and she went up to the door and knocked. Mary opened it a few minutes later. “Oh, wonderful, you're here after all,” she said. “Thank you for sending Sherlock ahead. He was a godsend. At least now I can get ready before any more guests arrive.”

“Oh?” Molly asked.

Mary nodded. “Janine got here fifteen minutes ago. She'd thought I might need help and so she and Sherlock have been taking care of things while I've done some last minute straightening up. Sherlock mentioned you might have had an interesting day so feel free to open up a bottle of wine and pour yourself a glass.”

Molly stepped inside and Mary shut the door behind her. She could hear Sherlock's distinctive voice relaying a story of some type and Janine answer with her throaty laugh. They were in the kitchen from what she could tell. She squashed down her nerves, straightened up and made her way in there. She watched them for a moment, seeing Janine lean in towards Sherlock, looking quite cozy. She had on a black and white striped dress which looked like it had wide black ribbons forming a V-shaped halter on the front. Janine spotted her first and she gave her a warm smile. “Need a glass of wine?” she asked, removing her hand from Sherlock's arm.

Molly stared for a moment and then looked up, putting a smile on her face. “Yes, I'd love one.”

“You aren't too late,” Sherlock said.

“Well, I could have left a half hour earlier but I was waiting for test results to come back. I thought I would be nice to the DIs who needed the results and make sure they were all ready today in case they stopped in. Gerald can go over them just as well as I can.” Janine came over with a glass and handed it to her. Their fingers brushed and she nearly dropped the glass but got her grip a moment later. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome,” she said. Then she looked over at Sherlock and gave him a smile. “I think I'm going to go to the washroom and freshen up a bit. I wasn't expecting the oven to actually be on when Mary had said it would be catered. But I would like to hear the rest of that story.”

“I can finish it later,” he said with a nod before he turned his attention to his own drink, which looked to be water.

Then Janine turned back to Molly. “Join me in a few minutes,” she said quietly. “I think we need to talk.”

Molly did a very discreet nod and then had a sip of her wine before turning to Sherlock. “What story were you sharing?” she asked.

“A cautionary tale of angering your older brother the day before your parents are planning on having family portraits taken,” he said. “She'd wondered what the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to me was.”

“Ah,” she said with a nod. “I imagine you never really got embarrassed much when you were growing up.”

“Actually, it happened quite often,” he said. “I just began not to care what other people thought. You must have been lucky to avoid it when you were young.”

She smiled slightly and shook her head. “Oh, no, I was quite easily embarrassed. I still am, actually.”

“I will do my best never to embarrass you again,” he said.

Her smile widened slightly. “Thank you, Sherlock.” She had some more of her wine before she set her glass down. “It is quite hot in here. After being in an ice cold basement all day it's definitely a shock. I'm going to step outside and see if I can cool down a bit.”

He nodded. “In ten minutes it will be set to a lower temperature, so I suppose it will be safe to be here then.”

“Well, I'll keep that in mind.” With that she gave him a slight wave and made her way to the hallway outside the washroom. Janine had left the washroom door open as she looked at herself in the mirror. Molly stepped into the small room next to her. “This is going to be a very awkward evening,” she said.

“It doesn't have to be,” Janine said. “I can easily pretend nothing happened last night.”

“ _You,_ can, maybe, but I can't,” she said with a sigh. “I'm just...Sherlock is one of the most perceptive people in the world. He's going to be able to tell something's off. Not to mention, John and Greg aren't exactly dull either.”

“You just have to find something totally unappealing to think about,” Janine said. “Something horrendous that acts like a mental cold shower.”

“I can try,” she said. “But when I look at you I can't help but think about it.”

Janine turned to look at her. “I can always plead a headache in a little bit, before the other guests arrive.”

Molly's eyes widened and she shook her head. “No, don't do that. Mary wants us both here. We shouldn't disappoint her.”

“No, we shouldn't,” Janine said with a sigh. After a moment she moved her hand over to Molly's. “I know I shouldn't think about it either. You have a fiancé, after all. I shouldn't even have put the question out there, or said it was all right to kiss me. But I'm having a hard time not remembering it.”

Molly touched her fingers lightly. “So what are we going to do?”

“Keep distance. Talk to each other, but not exclusively. Try very hard not to think about it.” Janine moved closer to her. “Which I suppose is easier said than done.”

“It is much easier said than done,” she said.

“So I probably shouldn't kiss you again,” Janine said.

“No, that would be a bad idea,” Molly said.

Janine nodded. “But you want to, just as much as I do.”

Molly licked her lips slightly. “I do,” she said. “But we really shouldn't.”

“I know,” she said with a sigh. “This situation, it's...I'm not sure it isn't one of the most frustrating situations I've ever been in.”

“I feel the same way,” Molly said glumly.

Janine moved away from Molly and towards the door. She stopped after a moment, though, and then she shut the door instead and turned back to Molly. “I don't care if it's a bad idea,” she said, moving in front of Molly. “I'll regret it if I don't.”

Molly nodded as Janine leaned in, kissing her softly. They couldn't do too much without having to fix hair and make-up and clothes, but Janine pressed Molly against the wall, pressing as much of her body into Molly's as she could. Molly reached over and kept her close, putting a hand on her waist and eliciting a shiver from Janine, who deepened the kiss in response, letting her tongue flick against Molly's lips until she parted them for her. This kiss was just as good as the first one, and Molly felt her insides turn warm as the kiss continued. It didn't grow much more in intensity, but when Janine pulled away they both had to catch their breath. “I think it might be harder now,” Molly said, keeping her hand on Janine's waist. “But I'm glad you did it.”

“I'm not sure which kiss I'd rather burn into my memory,” Janine said, her voice warm. “If there's a chance for a third, though, I would like to be the first to know.”

“I'll make sure of that,” Molly said. Janine pulled back slightly and Molly let her go. She took a good look at Janine. “You look respectable.”

“So do you,” she said. “The joys of lipstick that stays put.” She smoothed down her dress. “I'll go keep Sherlock company for a while so you can actually freshen up, if you need to.”

Molly nodded and watched Janine go to the door and open it. She stepped outside, shutting it behind her. Molly fiddled with her hair for a moment, adjusting it to put the strands that had escaped the knot back into place. Then she smoothed down the dress and opened the door to see Mary standing there. She gave her friend a wide smile. “Oh! I just needed to freshen up. I'm finished now.”

Mary nodded as Molly moved past her. “You know, I like Janine much more than I like Tom,” Mary said, and Molly froze. “In all honesty, she treats you much better than he does.”

Molly turned to look at her. “How did you...?”

“I know exactly what it sounds like when two people are snogging, even if they're trying to be quiet about it,” she said. “And I caught snippets of conversation before she shut the door.” 

“Oh,” Molly said.

“You should ask yourself a very simple question, Molly: who makes you happier, Tom or Janine?” she said. “The one you pick is the one you should really focus on building something with. Or rebuilding, if for some reason you pick Tom. But I don't think you will.” Mary gave her a smile and then embraced her. “You're a good friend, and I want you to be happy. Personally I think Janine will make you quite happy, but whoever you decide on, I'll support that relationship.”

“Thank you,” Molly said in a tone of relief as he embraced Mary back. “That means a lot.”

“Well, you have always been one of the kindest people towards me, even though you're more John's friend than mine. It's the least I can do.”

“That's not true,” Molly said, pulling back. “If anything, you stole me from John. I spend more time with you than him these days.”

Mary laughed. “That is true, isn't it?”

“It's the absolute truth,” Molly said with a nod. 

“I'll have to lord it over him. That's two of his friends I've plucked right out from under his nose,” she said with a final chuckle. “I'll help distract Sherlock so he doesn't say anything that makes it all awkward, all right?”

“I'd appreciate it,” Molly said. She let go of Mary. “I'll let you finish getting ready now.” Mary gave her one last smile before shutting the door to the washroom. Molly turned and began to head back towards the kitchen. She had a lot to think about, a lot to consider, but for the time being she had to shelve it all and put on her best poker face. She hoped it would be easier getting through this one evening than it had been two years of keeping Sherlock's secret. She just wasn't quite sure it would actually be easier than that, though.


	8. Chapter 8

She still couldn't believe she'd kissed Janine a second time, because she was still with Tom. That hadn't changed between the first kiss and the second. But she wanted to know if what she had felt the first time was still there. And it was still there, that spark. To Molly, that was a clear indication that there was a genuine attraction between the two of them. And that was a problem. She couldn't have it both ways. _Something_ had to change. There was so much for her to think about, to decide on and to do. She had the day off today, and so she turned off her mobile and decided she was going to ignore the world as she figured out what, exactly, she was going to do about all of this. No matter what she decided _someone_ was going to get hurt. Multiple someones, if she made the wrong choice. She had to be very careful in her considerations.

She decided to look at her relationship with Tom first. She did care about him, even now. She still supposed he was a good man, and with some hard work and changes to who she associated with, she could be happy with him again, she thought. But the changes would be more than just letting Janine go. She'd have to severely limit her interactions with Sherlock as well. While he wasn't _really_ a part of this whole convoluted equation he was, in his own way. She focused on him and her relationship with him for a moment. She no longer fancied him, she realized, not one bit. There was still a bit of awe there, and a healthy dose of respect and admiration, and even a bit of love mixed in, but it was definitely a platonic form of love. He was going to be only a friend from now on. And truth be told, she wanted to remain his friend. She liked the changes in him and enjoyed the person he had become, and she didn't want to give him up. So that would be a mark in the column to ending her relationship with Tom: if she stayed with Tom she would have to end friendships she didn't want to give up.

Another mark in that column was that she would be the one having to make the changes while Tom's life stayed the same. He would not be giving up friends; his circle of friends and acquaintances would remain roughly the same. But she would have to give up Sherlock and Janine, and quite possibly John and Mary as a result. That seemed quite unfair to her. And if she made those large changes in an attempt to keep him, what other changes would she make later? Would she have to give up her career at some point? Would she have to leave London or even England if he demanded it? Would she be the one giving things up to make him happy while he didn't do the same in return? She shouldn't have to make all the major sacrifices to keep him happy. There was such a thing as compromise, but that seemed to not be an option.

Of course, that could also be construed as her being selfish, she countered, playing devil's advocate for a moment. He _could_ be willing to compromise, she thought. Give up things that made him happy to make sure she felt content. She didn't actually know he wouldn't do it because they never talked about it. Until Sherlock had come back from the dead they'd had a fairly easygoing relationship with very few problems. But then things had changed, and problems had sprung up, and they didn't actually _talk_ about them. They just sort of shuffled them around and ignored them for the most part. The only time they'd actually had a row over things was after the wedding, and in the end she'd apologized but he'd stayed distant. Was that always how it was going to be?

On that note, though, Janine had started to become a bit distant as well. Not as much as Tom, of course, but there was something between them that hadn't been there when they first became friends. There was more hesitation between them, more pauses between a question and a response. She wondered if Janine actually trusted her, if she would ever let her know what was really going on in her head. She trusted Janine, obviously. She'd told her things that not even her other friends knew. And she trusted Janine to keep those secrets. But would Janine ever trust her with her own secrets? The ones you wanted to keep deep down? It was a very important question to consider. Because she did absolutely trust Tom, no doubt about that, and trust was a key to having a good relationship.

That was, of course, if Janine even wanted to _have_ a relationship with her. They were quite quiet about their friendship these days, about how close they were to each other. It wasn't as it had been when they'd first started spending time together, when Janine had invited her out to the girls night but neglected to invite anyone else. She didn't mind continuing to keep things quiet, if that was what Janine wanted. But if they were going to have an honest to God relationship she didn't want it to be an absolute secret, either. She wanted to tell people she was close to that there was someone in her life she cared deeply for. It wouldn't matter to most of her friends that it was a woman, she knew that. The ones she'd made before she met Tom and the ones she had who barely knew him, they would accept her regardless of whether she was with a man or a woman. But she wondered how Janine's friends would take it, aside from Mary. If they had to keep it a secret, she was worried it would weigh on her and sour her feelings towards Janine.

And then there was that. How did she feel about Janine, really? It wasn't lust, she knew that much. If it had only been lust there would have been much more than two kisses, as exquisite a kiss as they had been. But she wasn't sure it was love, either. Perhaps it was the beginnings of love. Perhaps she was feeling a potential love for her, because she could. She could easily fall in love with her, she realized. It was almost like a flower, just the bud of a flower, ready to blossom but not _quite_ there yet. She thought about Janine a lot, cared for her greatly, and that could be a sign it could potentially grow into love. It just wasn't there yet.

But, she wanted to see if it would. And that was the answer. She deeply and truly wanted to see what could develop between her and Janine, and that meant she had to end things with Tom. It wasn't fair to him for them to stay together when her heart was moving on towards someone else. She wasn't quite sure how she wanted to do it, though, how much to tell Tom. He deserved to know the truth, the whole truth, that she had strong feelings towards someone else. And then there were the kisses. There had only been two, nothing more than that, but she never should have kissed Janine, not while she was with Tom. If she told him the whole truth it would break his heart and there would probably be an awful row. And she'd deserve it, she really would, but the easier this was on both of them the better.

She couldn't tell him over the phone. She sent him a quick text instead, suggesting they meet at Hyde Park. A meeting in public was for the best, she reasoned, and she waited for his response. It came about ten minutes later, and he said that was fine, and to meet him there at six thirty, after he was done for the day. She killed time the rest of the day, filling it up with unimportant things and trying not to think about seeing him face to face, but when it was time she left her home and got into a cab to go to the gardens. When she walked into the gardens and looked around she spotted Tom sitting on the nearby bench, a warm drink in his hands. She sat down next to him, looking at the gardens. Winter was not a particularly good time to visit them, she realized: the trees were barren and it was cold and bleak. But there was also privacy there, and they needed it.

Neither of them spoke for a moment. Tom sipped his drink and Molly looked down at her gloved hands, and the bulge the diamond was making on her ring finger on her left hand. Finally she worked up the courage to speak. “This engagement...it's not working out the way either of us had hoped, is it?” she asked, not looking away from her hands.

“No, it's not,” he said. “We've been drifting apart for a while now.”

“Ever since the wedding,” she said quietly. “I do care about you, Tom. You're a good man, a very kind and loving man. Some day you will make a woman very happy.”

“But not you,” he said. “You're not happy, and that won't change."

“No, I don't think it will.” Finally she looked over at him. “Are you happy, Tom? Honestly?"

He shook his head slowly. “No, not really. I know there are things and people that are important to you, even if I don't want them to be. And you shouldn't have to give them up to make someone else happy. They've been around longer than I have.”

She nodded. “I didn't mean to hurt you, Tom. I didn't want to do that.”

“I know, Molly,” he said. “You're a good person with a kind heart. That was what caused me to fall in love with you in the first place.” He gave her a sad smile. “We just drifted apart, that's all.”

“I suppose we did,” she said. After a moment she tugged off her glove and then took the engagement ring off her finger. She reached over for his hand and placed the ring in his palm before curling his fingers over it. Then she leaned over and kissed his cheek. “You take care, Tom, all right?”

“You too, Molly,” he said.

She stood up then and walked towards the entrance to the gardens. She felt sad, yes, because even though he had realized it wasn't going to work she could tell she had still hurt him, but she also felt free. She felt light, now that she wasn't wrestling with all the thoughts and feelings in her head. She made her way to the curb and hailed a cab, and once she was inside she pulled her mobile out of her handbag, pulling up the now familiar number. Janine picked up on the third ring. “Molly. What is it?”

“I need to talk to you,” she said. “It's rather important.”

“I'm busy at the moment, and it's going to be a long night,” she said. “It's the kind of news you want to share in person, I take it?”

“Yes,” she said, her spirits dimming. “What about tomorrow?”

“A day full of meetings, and then I have things I have to do for Charles. But perhaps after eight I'll be free? Maybe we can have a late dinner.”

“All right,” she said. “We can plan on a late dinner together. I'll even cook.”

“Oh, a homemade meal would be lovely,” she said in a warm tone. “Any chance you can make that wonderful Alfredo sauce again? The one with the chicken?”

“I can do that,” she said. “I'll see you tomorrow, then, all right?”

“I'll see you then. And should I bring a bottle of wine?”

“I don't think it would hurt,” she said, smiling as her mood lifted.

“Then I'll bring something nice. See you tomorrow, then, around eight thirty.” Janine hung up and Molly lowered her mobile. It was going to be hard to keep a lid on things until tomorrow evening, she realized, but she definitely wanted Janine to hear the news first, and then she would know whether she had a reason to be happy with the ended engagement or just another reason to be sad over it. Until tomorrow she would be left to wonder, and she hoped she could concentrate well enough to get through her tasks.


	9. Chapter 9

“Oi! Molly! Are you in here?”

Molly lifted her head up. She'd been so lost in her own thoughts she hadn't realized an orderly had come into her morgue with a body. She'd done it. She'd actually ended things with Tom to see if there was something there with Janine. It had been thrilling and freeing when she'd done it, though it had been sad as well, but now she was panicking. What if Janine didn't want to pursue anything with her? What if she'd thrown away a chance at happiness with Tom just to be alone again? She'd had a hard time sleeping the night before, and it had been hard to concentrate on the autopsies she'd had to do and the reports she'd needed to write. She had to focus right now, whether she wanted to or not. “I'm in the office,” she called out.

The man who came to the opened office door looked at her. “Are you all right?”

“Oh, just a bit preoccupied with some things,” she said, giving him a smile. “Do you have a body for me?”

“Two of them, actually. DI Lestrade asked if you could make them a top priority. It's one of _those_ cases,” he said.

Molly nodded in understanding. That was the way the staff talked about the cases Sherlock was called in on. “Well, I suppose at the very least it will be interesting,” she said as she stood up.

“You're close to Holmes, right?” he asked as they made their way out of the office.

“Close enough,” she said. “Sherlock is a friend, at any rate. Why do you ask?”

“I just...” He paused, and Molly stopped moving.

“What is it?” she asked, tilting her head to the side slightly.

“I found myself at Baker Street yesterday evening. Speedy's has the best sandwiches in London and they're open late enough to grab a bite after a shift. Anyway, you know your female friend with the dark hair? The one who stops by to whisk you away for lunches?”

Molly stilled. Did people suspect there was more to the relationship she had with Janine than just a friendship? “You mean Janine?” she asked quietly.

He nodded, wringing his hand slightly. “I saw her going up to 221B. And he was there and...he kissed her at the door. And not on the cheek, either.” He looked conflicted, and she did a “go on” gesture with his hands because she needed to know just why he thought she needed to know this information. “I know you fancied him and all, even though you're engaged to that Tom bloke. I just...I thought you should know maybe your friend and him have been keeping a secret from you. You're a good woman and I don't think you deserve to be hurt, you know?”

She nodded slowly. He thought she still fancied Sherlock. That bit was good, at least. But...Sherlock and Janine? In a relationship? There was no possible way, was there? Sherlock didn't seem the type to notice women at all in that way. And Janine...didn't Janine want her? Why would she be with...? Then Molly shook her head. Now was not the time to think about it. She had to wait until the orderly left and then she could really think about it. “I suppose everyone has their secrets,” she said. “Thank you for telling me, though.”

“I just don't want to see someone like you torn up about it, that's all,” he said.

“Well, I can't deal with it now, not with two bodies to take care of,” she said. “Give me the paperwork?”

He nodded and handed it to her. She looked it over, signed where she needed to sign, and then got the bodies where she needed them to be. She had two hours left on her shift, and that would allow her to complete one autopsy with the utmost thoroughness. She was sure her relief wouldn't mind her staying a bit later to do the other one as well, and she needed to occupy her mind and hands so that she wouldn't think about what she'd heard, wouldn't feel as though she'd just had her whole world flipped upside down. 

She got to work, and she was right when her relief came in and said he'd work on paperwork while she did the second autopsy. It was good to have something to do, but soon it was over and she had to type up the reports. She just couldn't concentrate on them, though, instead ruminating on what she'd been told. There was no way she could be...could there? But then she really thought about it. There could. Sherlock was secretive, but he'd been that way all the years she'd known him. She sometimes liked to think he kept secrets just to see how many people he could hide them from. But Janine. Could she _really_ be dating Sherlock and having...whatever it was they had together? Would she really do it? She thought she had known Janine. She thought she had known her quite well now. But perhaps she didn't know her at all.

She knew Janine was going to be working late. Or at least that was what she'd told Molly; maybe she was off at Sherlock's home, doing...things she didn't want to think about. Maybe the late nights with her boss had been a lie. She was fairly sure now the “interpersonal relationship” she'd talked about was whatever it was she had with Sherlock. But there was only one way to find out. There had been the threat of rain most of the day, but Molly didn't think to grab an umbrella before she got out of her lab coat and dashed out of her office, quickly making her way up to the street level to get a cab to take her to Magnussen's home. She had no way of getting into the building, because what reason would she have for being there? It wasn't as though she and Janine were public about things, whatever those things were. She started doubting herself the minute she sat in the cab, but a need to know the truth overpowered her and she told the driver to take her there.

It wasn't a very long ride, and she got out just as the rain started to fall. It wasn't even a light rain; heavy drops splattered on her head and clothes, and she knew soon enough she'd be soaked to the bone. Janine's boss was a powerful man, and she knew Janine would know she was loitering about soon enough. And ten minutes after she got there Janine came out of the building, umbrella over her head. “Molly?” she asked, genuinely confused. “What are you doing here?”

“What exactly is the nature of your relationship with Sherlock?” Molly asked, ignoring the fact she was chilled and sopping wet, ignoring the voice in her head that said she was making a horrible mistake. She had to know the truth. She had every right to know the truth. “And don't lie to me, Janine. I deserve the truth, after everything.” Janine looked down, and that was really all Molly needed to see. She'd been with him. Kissed her and been with him and she hadn't even had the decency to tell her that she was stringing one, if not both, of them along. “You know, forget I asked. For that matter, do me a bloody favour and forget you ever met me, all right?”

Molly turned around and began to walk away, not caring that she was probably going to get sick because her clothing was soaked and she was chilled to the bone. She'd ended things with Tom so she could give whatever was developing between her and Janine a chance. She'd thought Janine cared, at least enough to be honest with her. But no, she'd deluded herself, just like she had with Moriarty. God, it stung. It hurt so much that Molly had put herself out there, opened herself up and for what? For nothing, that was what. She'd made it nearly halfway down the block when she stopped feeling rain pouring down on her. She stopped and saw Janine was behind her, holding an umbrella over her head while she was in the rain. “Kisses. That's all I shared with him,” she said. “Charles wanted me to get close to him, ever since the wedding. He wanted information. And I know all Sherlock wants from me is information on Charles. So there is no real relationship between us. We've been using each other.”

Molly looked at her intently. She appeared honest and sincere. She didn't look as she had the last few months, as though she was keeping some large secret. She looked like she was baring her soul, as though she _needed_ Molly to believe her. But there was something else she had to know. “Is that why you began... _this_...with me? To get information on Sherlock to get close to him after he blew you off at the wedding?” 

“No. I mean, beginning a friendship with you, yes, but Molly, I genuinely care about you,” she said as she reached over for Molly's hand. “I care about you _so_ much. What I feel towards you is more real than anything I ever could have felt towards Sherlock. He's so closed off, even when he's pretending to be open. But you're open, and warm, and loving and you're real. What's between us, it's real. It's not pretend on my part. You have to see that, Molly.”

“But it's not real enough, because it was okay for you to try and seduce one of my good friends at the same time you were with me,” Molly said, her voice hurt.

“I _had_ to,” Janine said, her voice strained. “My employer knows secrets. He knows all the deepest, darkest secrets a person has, and he keeps them all hidden to use when he needs something, or when he wants something. He knows my deepest secret, Molly, the one I don't want the world to know.”

“Then tell me. Tell me this deep, dark secret and _maybe_ I can understand all this,” Molly said angrily.

“I...can't,” Janine said. “I can't because someone else could get hurt. If I don't do what Charles wants he'll tell the world and my family will keep her from me.”

“Then I guess I'm not as important to you as keeping that secret is,” she said, pulling her hand out of Janine's grasp. She turned on heel and moved away, back under the rain.

“My sister is really my daughter!” Janine shouted.

Molly stopped, turning to look at Janine, her eyes wide. Janine had talked about Lizzie all the time, had been so proud of her and all her accomplishments. And this was...well, this was blackmail worthy. “Daughter?” she asked.

“When I was still questioning things, when I thought I might only like men, I shagged a boy and got pregnant over Christmas break, my last year of secondary school,” she said, moving closer. “I was able to hide it well enough until just before my gap year. My parents were shocked and disgusted with me because they're Catholic and I got pregnant out of wedlock, and they hid me away, claiming I was out and about during my gap year. Then they demanded when I had Lizzie that I give her to them to raise as my sister. My parents came up with a huge story of how they'd adopted a baby because God said it was their calling, but it's not true. My sister is really my daughter, and Charles knows this.”

“Does Lizzie know the truth?” Molly asked.

Janine looked pained. “I don't know. I want to tell her, so much. She's miserable in their home. She rings me up and tells me how they're treating her, and there isn't anything I can do. I have some money, but not enough to fight my parents for her. They've got social standing and connections I can't touch. And then there's what will happen if she finds out the truth and she hates me for it. I don't want her to hate me.” She stood in front of Molly, holding the umbrella over both of them this time. “She's one of the few good things in my life right now.”

“One of them?” Molly asked, needing to hear what Janine had to say but not quite feeling as though she'd believe it.

“You're the other,” she said. “I know we've stayed very quiet about what could be developing, but it's because I've had to. If my parents had even a shred of an idea that I had a girlfriend...” She trailed off.

“They'd use it to make sure you were cut out of Lizzie's life completely,” Molly said quietly.

Janine nodded. “I have a friend working on my behalf. An ex, rather, one of the few women I've had a relationship with. She's supposed to be dead, but she faked it. It's another secret I'm keeping, but she knows who you are and I don't think she'd particularly care if you knew. You kept Sherlock's secret. I'm sure you'll keep hers.”

“Who, exactly?” Molly asked.

“Irene. Irene Adler,” Janine said as Molly's eyes got even wider.

“I did her autopsy,” Molly said.

“You did the autopsy she wanted you to do,” Janine said. “But she faked her death, twice. The second time was thanks to Sherlock and his brother. She contacted me a few months after he saved her to let me know she was alive. I was one of the few women she'd been with in an actual relationship in. I mean, I was never a client of hers, and so she felt she could trust me with the truth. She's trusted me with so much and I've kept her secret, and she's kept mine.”

“How did you meet her?”

“We were friendly in university,” she said. “We had a brief fling but it didn't work out, and we realized we're better friends than we were lovers.” She took a step closer to Molly. “Molly, I didn't want to hurt you. I still don't. But I have to do this. Charles can be a vicious and evil man.”

“How far are you going to take things with Sherlock, if it comes down to it?” she asked.

“As far as I need to, at least up to marriage,” she said. “I won't marry him. Get engaged, yes, but I won't legally bind myself to someone I don't love.”

Molly shook her head. “Exactly how serious does he think it is? I mean, have you said you love him? Have you said those words to him? Has he said them to you?”

“I have,,” Janine said, and Molly felt something break inside her. She had thought maybe she could love Janine, maybe she could hear those words and say them herself, and she said them to _Sherlock_ instead. Janine could see it on her face because she reached for her. “I haven't meant them, though. He needs to believe I'm infatuated with him, Molly. The whole plan won't work otherwise.”

“How do I know I can believe you?” she asked, stepping out of Janine's reach. “How do I know you're not lying to me right now? Maybe you _do_ actually love him, and you're just telling me this so you can have me on the side as your...your...strumpet!” She was yelling now but she didn't care. They were both alone on the sidewalk thanks to the rain. Janine took another step closer but Molly took another step back, holding her hands up. “Don't come any closer. Just...don't. I can't...” 

Janine dropped her head. “Fine.”

Molly wanted to say something more but instead she turned and walked away, wrapping her arms around herself and letting her tears mingle with the rain as she walked. She'd given up something broken but dependable for something she'd thought was solid, even if it was unknown, that had the potential to be brilliant, and it had all fallen apart around her. God, she was a fool, she thought to herself. An absolute bloody fool, and now she was alone again. It served her right, she realized. This is what came of making decisions with your heart. You ended up hurt in the end.


	10. Chapter 10

She'd had quite a few good cries over everything, starting on the cab ride home, and a call to Mary had helped. Mary had started to think something might be going on between Janine and Sherlock thanks to observing them at the dinner party, but she'd hoped it wasn't the case. Molly wasn't really surprised at that; Mary had always been quite observant, even if it came to seeing the worst in somebody. She said she couldn't understand why Janine would do what she did, but there had to be a reason. Molly couldn't say she already knew the reason, because even though she was angry and hurt she wasn't going to betray Janine's confidence, but Mary had continued to say that she was fairly sure that whatever it was going on between Janine and Sherlock meant very little to her, and she should keep that in mind. When she hung up the phone she felt a bit better but she was still quite confused about everything.

She'd shown up to work the next day and she was so distracted that her superiors were alerted. Her immediate supervisor came down and Molly gave her an edited story of what had happened. She'd told her superiors her engagement had ended and she was quite distraught over it, and the woman seemed to understand. It was a bit of a scramble to get her shifts covered, but the hospital managed well enough and Molly had the week off once she typed up the reports for the last two bodies she'd autopsied. She went home early and sat in front of her telly, binging on lollies and crisps and not really caring much about anything. She turned off her mobile because really, she wanted the entire world to just sod off.

After the first day she'd decided to leave London behind her. She'd bought a train ticket to Edinburgh, wanting to put as much distance between herself and them as she could and still be close. She'd splurged on the hotel, pampered herself a bit at a spa that was recommended. She'd walked along the streets of the city, looking at it all but not really taking things in. She felt a bit empty inside, and she wasn't sure would fill it. She tried to sort out how she felt towards Sherlock, towards Janine, towards herself. She thought about calling Tom and telling him the whole truth, but decided against that. It would only hurt him to know she had feelings of some sort towards someone else, and she didn't really need to make him feel the way she felt now. It was best he continued to think they'd just drifted apart.

She went back to London the evening before she was to go back to work, and then she'd gone into work in a rather gloomy and pensive mood. She'd hoped for an uneventful day but of _course_ that wasn't an option because she had no luck left in her life. That was the day John and Mary brought Sherlock in, high as a bloody kite, and Sherlock had to make the remark about the ring. Oh, it had felt quite good to slap him across the face those three times. She couldn't say aloud the other reason behind it, focusing on him wasting his God given gifts, but the fact she'd done it felt quite invigorating. It had almost been enough to make her day better, and had managed to keep her in a less miserable mood until the late night call from John that Sherlock had been shot. Then she'd felt horrible. She went to the hospital and saw his brother and his parents there, and without checking on Sherlock she turned around and left again. She went to Hyde Park and walked around, not caring that it was cold or that she had to go to work the next day, and stayed until midnight, lost in her thoughts. It hadn't helped that a day later Janine had gone to the tabloids, selling her story. She said a lot more had gone on in the interview than she'd said during the confrontation in the rain. Molly wasn't quite sure what to believe now. Did she believe the story Janine had given to the papers or the story Janine had given to her personally? She could ask Sherlock, obviously, but she wasn't sure she wanted to speak to either of them again for as long as she lived. It would hurt too much.

Janine left her in peace but Sherlock didn't give her that option, once he'd recovered a bit more. That, she supposed, was typical Sherlock. He always had to make sure he had the last word. He'd summoned her to Baker Street with a deluge of rather curt text messages demanding she speak to him. It was the last one, however, that had convinced her to go, the one sent after a decently sized pause after the last curt message that she had deleted. It had simply said _You deserve the truth. SH_ At the moment she felt she would believe him over Janine, so it would be worth it to see what the truth really was before she decided if she ever wanted to speak to him again after that.

It had been five days since he'd let himself out of the hospital and the story of him and Janine had gone public, and there had been a crowd of people around his home. She pushed through them, knowing her picture was probably going to end up on the covers of the tabloids and she'd be pegged the mystery rebound woman for those that didn't want to bother with their research, and that made her resentful at being summoned there when he could have easily just come to her. Once she got the door shut behind her she heard the sound of a violin playing something quite lovely and sad. It wasn't until she went up the stairs to the sitting room that she realized Sherlock was the one making the music. She knew he played; they'd talked about it when he used her home as a bolthole after he fell from the roof. She'd just never gotten to hear it before, and she wasn't at all surprised to find he was quite talented. She waited for him to either finish the song or realize she was there, but when he finished playing the song he remained quiet. The silence stretched on for a few minutes before he finally spoke. “I realize I must be one of the last people you want to see,” he said without turning around. “But I'm glad you came.”

“Well, I really had no choice,” she said quietly. “You were a bit abrupt in your text messages, but the last one...the last one got my attention. Piqued my curiosity, you could say.”

“I know. I actually erased ten different messages before I sent that one.” He finally turned around and motioned to a chair, and she saw he was slow in his movements. “I felt we should talk.”

“I suppose we should,” she said. She hesitated a moment and then moved to the chair he'd indicated, the one she knew John preferred, and sat down.

“I thought you should know I had no idea about Janine's interest in you at first,” he said as he moved to his chair and sat down. There was a cup of tea on a saucer on the table next to her chair, and she picked it up and took a sip. It wasn't piping hot but it was warm enough, and he had made it just how she liked it. Sherlock looked at her and then got up and went to the fireplace, where a fire was going. “I knew something was off. I may not be experienced in many matters relating to physical intimacy, but she did not seem to react to me the way I expected. I theorized that she may have been reading into the fact I was pretending, or that she was only pretending herself for some reason, but I knew it wasn't sincere. I saw how she looked at you, though, when we were all together at the dinner party. There was no pretending in that.”

“Is it that obvious?” she asked quietly, putting her cup of tea back on the saucer.

“No. But I imagined if she truly cared for me she would have looked at me that way.” He knelt down next to the fire. “Magnussen has a hold over her, doesn't he?”

Molly nodded. “Yes. Even though she played her part, he could still get revenge because she sold her story about the two of you to someone else.”

“Does it have to do with her daughter?” he asked, looking up.

Her eyes were wide. “How did you...?”

“My brother is the government,” Sherlock said with a shrug. “He can come about information almost as easily as Magnussen can. And her parents did a spectacularly sloppy job of covering it up, in all honesty. I'm surprised it took this long for it to actually be a threat.” He turned back to the fire. “It will be handled.”

“And just how is it going to be handled?” Molly asked curiously.

“The right information was given to Irene Adler this morning for her use. Before you ask yes, I knew she was involved in this and yes, I know about her past relationship with Janine. I did my research into Janine before the wedding so I knew all about her history. On top of that Irene made it a point to inform me if I hurt Janine there would be hell to pay some time back. I suspect at the time Janine hadn't told her the true nature of her plans with me and she thought we were actually serious about each other.”

Molly shook her head. This was all quite confusing, how they all seemed to be interconnected. “I'm honestly surprised I haven't gotten the warning speech from the infamous Irene yet.”

Sherlock turned back to her, the ghost of a smile on his face. “I'm sure you'll get it eventually. It could be Janine told her about her and I in an effort to keep the relationship between the two of you private.”

“It wasn't a relationship, not really,” Molly said before having some more tea.

“So, just casual intercourse, then?” he asked.

She spit out her tea in shock. “Sherlock, I'm not going to tell you that!”

He looked her up and down, studying her. “No. There was no intercourse. A kiss, perhaps, but nothing more. Perhaps you never quite categorized it as a relationship because of that? Because you felt you would hurt Tom?” His gaze narrowed slightly. “Or is it something else?”

“No,” she said. “Most of it was Tom, but there was also the fact it was...different.”

“There are theories that human sexuality is fluid,” he said thoughtfully. “Not everyone is 100% heterosexual or 100% homosexual even if they claim to prefer a specific gender. And obviously there are people who identify as bisexual or pansexual. But if you always identified as being attracted to one gender and one gender only, I'm assuming it would be hard to accept if you find your own sexuality is more fluid than you've previously thought.”

“Have you had that happen?” she asked, curiosity in her voice. She should correct him on what she meant by different, but for the moment, she wanted to know about him, see if he would answer her question.

“I don't experience sexual attraction, not really,” he said with a shrug. “It's not something that is particularly important to me. I suppose that puts me on the asexual side of the scale. If I ever did experience it I'm not sure whether it would skew towards men or women.” He stoked the fire up a bit. “I also don't feel romantic attraction, which would make me aromantic, I believe.”

“It must be lonely, being that way,” she said.

“Not particularly. For years it simply didn't matter. And since I have close friendships that fulfill me now, it's even less important.” He looked over at her. “You are the type of woman I always imagined would love someone regardless of gender. You may skew towards men, but I had thought if the right woman stole your heart you could be quite content with her. It must have been a shock, though, being engaged to Tom but attracted to someone else. Someone who wasn't me, at any rate.”

“So you think you know me better than I know myself?” she asked, raising an eyebrow but having a faint smile on her face. “Because there is at least one thing wrong with that statement.”

“Only one?” he asked.

“Yes. Even though it was different it actually seemed quite natural. But I stopped fancying you long before you came back, for the most part. All of this with Janine is recent, and by that point, Sherlock, you had been nothing but a friend for some time.”

“I see,” he said quietly. He moved away from the fireplace and sat back down in his chair. “Would you classify what you and Janine had as an emotional tryst? Or perhaps an experiment, to see if you really are attracted to women?”

“No and no,” Molly said, looking down at her tea. “I don't know what we are. Were. Could have been.” She sighed. “That was what made it different. I don't know if you'll understand, but...” She thought for a moment on how to explain it. “I've been in a few relationships, and there's something in a relationship that...well, you know it's a relationship. And I don't feel that with her. When I started to realize I was attracted to her I felt that, but even after we kissed I still wasn't sure exactly what we were. And I don't know what we could have been.”

“Would you have ended things with Tom even without being attracted to her?” he asked.

She nodded. “Probably. I knew him quite well, when we got engaged, and he wasn't the same anymore. I didn't want to be with this new version of him.” 

“But someone else did,” he said quietly.

She sighed. “So he was cheating, wasn't he?” she asked.

He nodded slowly. “I think, after my return, he saw you begin to drift away, even if you didn't realize it. John and Mary's wedding made it a bit more evident for him that you would always put me over him, and he knew he didn't quite have your heart anymore.”

“But he did, for a while longer.”

“For a while,” Sherlock agreed. “But I'm assuming you suspected he was with someone else before whatever happened with Janine happened.”

“All that happened with Janine was two kisses. That was all,” she said. “She was willing to forget about any attraction towards me if I wanted to choose Tom, but I wanted to see. I had to _know_ before I really thought about it, so I kissed her. And then the next day, the day of Mary's dinner party, there was the second one. I broke things off with Tom the day after that. I didn't string him along.” Then she sighed. “This whole situation is so complicated. There have been secrets and lies and I hate it. Worst of all, I'm not entirely sure I'm ever going to be able to trust Janine, not completely.”

He was quiet for a moment. “But you want to,” he said quietly.

“I do,” she said. “I...care...about her. Quite a bit.”

“But you don't love her.”

“Maybe?” she said questioningly, setting her tea down on the table. She stood up after a moment and began to pace. “Maybe I was just falling in love with the person I thought she was. Or maybe it wasn't love. I mean, how am I to know what love really is? I thought I loved Tom and I left him for someone else. Maybe I don't know what love is at all. Maybe I only _think_ I know what love is. I may have no clue at all, to be honest. I may think one thing is love when it's really just lust or complacency or any other number of things.”

Sherlock stood in one mostly fluid motion and stepped in front of her, blocking her path. He hesitated a moment, and then set a hand on either shoulder. “I think, Molly, you know how love feels. You know what love really is. You know sometimes love waxes and wanes, even when you would prefer it not to. And you know sometimes it disappears entirely, even when you hope it won't. I think it's just a matter of admitting to yourself whether what you feel for Janine is truly love, and then choosing how to go forward from there.”

Molly looked up at him and gave him a small smile. “For someone with no real experience in relationships you seem awfully sure of that advice.”

“Well, even love can sometimes be rational, and that is something I excel at being,” he said with the smallest of grins. She moved and embraced him, resting her cheek on his chest, and after a moment he awkwardly embraced her back. “Whatever decision you make, Molly, you'll have my support, so long as I'm here.”

“Thank you, Sherlock,” she said. “I appreciate it.” She pulled away from him and looked up. “Was that all you wanted to talk to me about?”

He shook his head. “I also wanted to apologize for the scene in your lab the day I got shot. It was reprehensible of me to callously bring up the end of your engagement in that way. And even then, I shouldn't have brought it up at all. I didn't know how it ended, I just had suspicions as to why.”

“It wasn't even all that long ago, just two weeks,” she said with a sigh. “He took it well enough, I suppose. I mean, I didn't tell him about Janine, but he knew I'd been drifting away long before that. He had to, to be seeing someone else. But the day I was going to tell Janine I'd ended my engagement one of the orderlies said he'd seen you kiss Janine in a more than friendly way at the door here and I just...I didn't want to believe it. And then she confirmed it, and then _you_ brought up my ending things with Tom and...”

“And it was horrible timing,” he said.

“Among other things,” she said with a wry smile. “She had the feeling you were going to propose at some point. She had told me she would accept and then end it later, and that also hurt.”

“I suppose Magnussen was going to force her into it?” he said.

She nodded. “She wasn't going to marry you, though. She would have drawn the line at that.”

“That would have made things easier, considering I wasn't actually keen on the idea of being married.” His jaw was set in a rigid line for a few moments, and then he sighed. “The man has much to answer for,” he said when he spoke again.

Molly studied him closely. “There's something else going on, isn't there? Something you're keeping from me.”

“It's in your best interest that you don't know the entire situation,” he said. Molly opened her mouth to protest and he held up a hand. “It's for your own safety. I put you in danger by enlisting your help before with Moriarty, and I don't want to do it again. I'm up against someone with the capacity of being far more dangerous than Moriarty, and I want to keep you safe. Please, Molly, let me keep you safe.”

“All right,” she said quietly. “Just promise me you're keeping yourself safe too, all right?”

“I am,” he said with a nod. Then he gestured to the tea. “Why don't we go back to our tea and talk about other things? I want to attempt to talk to you the way I did when I was at your home.”

She nodded and then went back to where she'd been sitting while Sherlock returned to his own seat. It was strange at first just chatting with him, but slowly they both relaxed. She stayed there for nearly two hours before he got a call from Lestrade requiring his advice on something. Molly gave him a quick peck on the cheek and then left, debating where to go. She wasn't sure she wanted to see Janine, not while her head was swimming with things, and then she thought about going over to John and Mary's but in the end changed her mind, deciding to go home instead. It was not a very long ride, and she got out and went up the stairs to her flat. She went to unlock the door but froze when she realized it was already unlocked.

She pulled her bottle of Farbgel out of her handbag. Lestrade had made sure she had a plentiful supply when Moriarty had been setting bombs on people, once they realized the bomber had a connection to Sherlock, and she'd rarely had to use it. She kept her finger lightly hovering over the trigger and then opened the door as quietly as she could, seeing a woman sitting in one of her chairs. As she got closer she realized the woman looked familiar. “So. You're Molly,” she said. She had apparently made a pot of tea, because her mother's tea service was sitting on the table next to her with two cups. She picked up one of them and lifted it towards Molly. “Both Janine and Sherlock have had quite a few things to say about you.”

“You're Irene Adler,” she said quietly. She certainly had the physical attributes of the woman she had autopsied all those years ago, but she seemed so much more beautiful than the pictures she had seen suggested. No wonder Janine had been attracted to her. It made her wonder what on earth Janine had seen in her. Irene nodded and then gestured towards Molly's other chair with her free hand. Molly set her handbag on the table and then came towards the chair opposite of her. She sat down and Irene handed her the cup of tea in her hand. She glanced at it and saw there was milk, and when she took a sip she tasted sugar as well. Irene knew quite a bit about her, apparently. She set her cup in the saucer again. “Am I getting the threat not to hurt Janine now?”

“Oh, I don't think you need that,” Irene said with a smile as she picked up the second cup and saucer. “I imagine if you do decide to give her another chance you'll make sure you don't hurt her. It's not in your nature.” She took a sip of the tea. “Janine is a very good woman who was put in a rough position twice, first by her parents and then by that bastard she worked for. She's done what it takes to keep her secret safe, and you have to understand she wasn't happy about it.”

Molly stayed quiet for a moment. “You've been helping her with taking care of the secret,” she said when she finally spoke.

“I see Sherlock decided to tell you the entire truth, at least as he knows it,” she said as she nodded. “Yes, I have. I may not have been able to reveal myself before, but my own problem has been taken care of, and certain information I needed was passed to me by our mutual brainy friend's brother. Janine's parents no longer have a legitimate claim to have custody of Lizzie, and the girl is out of their wretched home.”

“What about her Janine's boss retaliating?” Molly asked.

“Magnussen has lost his hold over her,” Irene said. “Lizzie knows the truth and she's conflicted at the moment but she seems not to blame her mother in all this. And with Janine's newfound wealth and notoriety from selling her story about being the former paramour of Sherlock Holmes she can easily influence how this particular news becomes public, if it ever does. And then there's always the fact that my own reemergence will be quite the topic of discussion for a time.”

Molly nodded, concentrating on her tea. It appeared as though all the bits and pieces of this complicated mess were being neatly tidied up. “That's good.”

Irene had some of her tea. “I'm sure you have questions for me, about myself and Janine. I'm willing to answer most of them.”

Molly thought for a moment. “Why didn't it work out?” she asked curiously.

“We are two very different types of people. I'm very flashy and not too inclined to be exclusive, when it comes down to it. She she didn't take particularly kindly to my wandering eyes and hands. One day a few months into our relationship we had a talk and realized it wasn't meant to be, but we did enjoy our chats and spending time together, and we were inclined to be good secret keepers, and so we decided to remain friends. Our friendship is much more fulfilling than our romantic relationship ever was.” Irene looked at her closely. “She cares for you greatly, you know.”

“She's said she does,” Molly said quietly.

“And you care for her,” Irene said shrewdly. “I might even guess you love her.”

“I don't know,” she replied, looking down. “But at the moment I'm not sure it's in my best interest to be in a romantic relationship with anyone.”

“That could be a valid point. You did end an engagement because of how you felt towards Janine,” Irene said. “I think all of us who care for Janine would much rather have you be sure of your feelings towards her than unsure, whatever those feelings may be.”

“It's more fair to everyone,” Molly said. “To her and to me.”

“Obviously,” Irene said with a nod. “But I also suspect you don't entirely trust her. And I think you have every right to feel that way. Just remember she was forced to lie to you under duress.”

“I know,” she said. She looked back at Irene. “What are her plans now?”

“Acclimate Lizzie into her life once Lizzie figures out what she would like,” Irene said, tilting her head. “Lizzie has some opportunities available to her now, and she may want time away from Janine to wrap her head around things. And then there's fact Janine's unemployed but worth quite a bit of money now. That will take some getting used to, of course. She can do anything she wants, live anywhere she wants. Travel and see the world, if she chooses.”

“So she may not stay in London?” Molly asked.

“If she has no reason to, I doubt she'll stay,” Irene said before she had more tea. “There is time for her to make a final decision, of course, but if you want to influence it I would not take an awfully long time to come to a decision of your own.”

Molly nodded in response. At least she had some time to sort out her own thoughts and feelings about everything. This was good. She sipped at her tea. “When are you coming back from the dead?”

“Not for a little while longer,” she said. “Within a week, most likely, as there are a few minor details I need to take care of first. Though if news about Lizzie's true relationship to Janine were to slip out I may have my resurrection earlier.” Then she smiled brightly. “It will be quite interesting to see what the reaction is to my bit of news from people aside from the small group who knows.”

“Are you going back to your old ways?” she asked.

Irene shook her head. “My days of secret collecting and blackmail are over, unless the elder Mr. Holmes has any ideas to the contrary. I _suppose_ I could help Queen and country if needed. I think I'm just going to enjoy being able to walk about London as myself again.” She drank the last of her tea and then set her cup and saucer down before standing and reaching over for a handbag. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Molly.”

“You as well,” Molly said with a nod.

Irene nodded back and then made her way to the door. When she got there she opened it and then paused. “Don't make the mistake I made of throwing away a good thing, Molly. I think if I'd had a different outlook on romantic relationships my life would have taken quite a different turn, and I could have been quite happy with her.”

“I'll keep that in mind,” Molly said. Irene gave her one last smile and then left her flat, shutting the door behind her. After a moment Molly got up and locked the door behind her. She had a lot of things to think about and she wasn't sure how much time she had to consider them.


	11. Chapter 11

Christmas Day rolled around a short time later, and Molly awoke with a sense of dread. Christmas was supposed to have been spent with Tom and Tom's parents and family, enjoying a Christmas Day much like the ones she'd always imagined having when she first started thinking about dating and being in a relationship with someone. Instead she was going to spend it alone and miserable with no one to share it with, since Greg had finally managed to get vacation time and was out of town and John, Mary and Sherlock were doing something on their own. It had hurt to not be invited, but Sherlock had confided that something was going to happen that day that he didn't want her involved in, and the hurt had subsided, to be replaced with worry.

She opened her eyes and saw Toby was curled up next to her. She reached over and petted him for a time before he began headbutting her in an attempt to get her to get up and feed him. “You're such a greedy kitty,” she said, shaking her head slightly as she sat up and stretched. She scooped him up and carried him out to the kitchen and his food bowl. She ignored the tree in the sitting room for a moment until it struck her that something was different. She fed Toby quickly and then went over to the tree. It had been nearly barren underneath the night before, with maybe a handful of presents from associates and Greg, but now there was a fairly decent stack of presents there. She plucked the first one off the pile and saw Sherlock's neat handwriting on the card, bearing her name. She pulled the card out and opened it up, reading it.

_Molly,_

_These are gifts from myself, Mrs. Hudson, John and Mary. When the others found out I was going to drop mine off they asked me to do the same with theirs so that you would have them today instead of later. There were also a few presents I was asked to deliver from someone else, though those are clearly labeled and you may ignore them if you choose._

_This may be the last time I get to talk to you, even though I'm not actually talking. My plan can go any number of ways. I hope that I will be successful, but there is always the chance I will fail miserably. Just know that you are one of my closest friends and I hold you in the highest regard. I hope for your happiness, because you deserve it, and I hope for your forgiveness for any hurt I may have caused if I fail in my task. If that's the case, just know that while I generally don't believe in luck, I think I am quite lucky to have met you._

_Sincerely yours,_  
_SH_

She set the card down and hung her head for a moment. He was such an idiot sometimes, honestly. A note was not going to be enough. She got up from the floor and went to her bedroom, taking her mobile off the charger and pulling up his contact. She hit send and waited, and there was a click a moment later. “Sherlock Holmes,” she said without waiting for him to speak. “You owe me a proper good-bye if you _really_ think you're going to fail.”

“What do you mean? The note _was_ a proper good-bye,” he said incredulously.

“Not in the slightest,” she said. “Sherlock, I want to hear you tell me good-bye. I need to hear you say it.”

He was quiet for a moment. “Do you have company now?”

“No, but I can have coffee ready in ten minutes if you want a cup.”

“Very well. I'll come back upstairs.”

“Are you telling me you _just_ left all these presents under my tree?” she asked, surprised.

“Well, I may have been loitering about, waiting for you to wake up,” he admitted.

“For how long?”

“Perhaps two hours,” he said evasively.

“Get up here now, Sherlock,” she said before ending the call. She went to her coffeemaker and began to brew enough coffee for the both of them. Three minutes later her door opened up and Sherlock let himself in. She pointed to her table. “You. Sit.”

Sherlock nodded, doing as he was told. “I had the feeling you would call when you read the note. There was no point in going back to Baker Street because I knew you would want to see me in person. I just didn't expect you to sleep in.”

“I'm glad you know me well,” she said. “What are you in the mood for for breakfast? I rather want a fry up.”

“I can't stay—” She turned and glared at him, and the rest of his protest died on his lips. “A fry up is fine.”

“Good.” She began getting the things she needed. “Sherlock, what are you planning on doing today?”

“It's best if you don't know,” he said. “Then no one can include you in any punishments that might take place.”

It suddenly dawned on her. “You're going after Magnussen today, aren't you?”

He nodded slowly. “I am.”

“Oh God,” she said. “Sherlock...why?”

“The hold he has over certain people. It needs to be broken,” he said. “I was hired to investigate him and broker a deal, but it didn't quite work as planned. And now he's got blackmail over people I hold dear and I want to make sure it's destroyed.”

She nodded. “Then you be careful, all right? He's a very scary man.”

He blinked slightly. “You don't want details anymore?” he asked.

“Not if you're going after him,” she said. “The more I know the more danger I'm in.” She went back to making their breakfast. “When the coffee is done you can make us each a cup. I'm sure you remember how I take mine?”

“A quarter of the cup is your flavored creamer and the rest is coffee, with a half spoonful of sugar stirred in,” he said.

“Good. When it's ready just leave my cup on the counter and I'll get to it when I can. I'll be busy concentrating on our breakfast. And in the meantime, we'll talk about whatever you want that isn't your plans for the day, all right?”

“All right,” he said.

“I have a few gifts for you, by the way. I'll give you mine to open when I open the ones under the tree.”

“You didn't have to,” he said. “Considering everything, I'm surprised you got me anything.”

She stilled in her movements. “Well, you weren't the only one I probably should have ignored that I got something,” she said.

“So there are gifts for Janine as well,” he said.

She nodded. “One gift, but yes. I got her something.” She went back to preparing their breakfast. “I still care about her, even though I probably shouldn't. I mean, I don't know if I can trust her, but you seem to think I should, and so did Irene.”

“You spoke to Irene?” he asked, his eyes widening slightly.

“Yes. The day I went to your home I came back here and she was waiting. She didn't give me the warning. She just seemed to be pleading Janine's case.”

“She must care for her quite a bit, then,” he said.

“I think she does. She seems to be quite loyal to the people she cares about.”

“I'm not surprised.” He got up and went over to where the coffee was, beginning to pull down mugs before he got the sugar down. After that he went to her refrigerator and pulled out her creamer. “What are you going to do with your gift for her?”

“I'm not sure. If her daughter is there I don't want to interfere with their holiday. I mean, it's got to be strange and it's a time for family, you know? I'm not family. So I was thinking tomorrow I would pay her a visit.”

“I think she would be amenable to that,” he said with a nod. “I think she'll be happy to see you.”

“I hope so,” she said. “Let's change the topic. I don't have much of your time, and there's going to be food to eat and presents to open. I'd like to at least give you a bit of today where there aren't heavy thoughts on your mind.”

“That might be the best Christmas gift of all,” he said, giving her a small smile.

“Then I'll make sure that's what happens,” she said, returning his smile with a wider one. They began to chat as she made their meal, and the conversation continued when they got it all to the table and began to eat. When they were done and each nursing their second cup of coffee she nodded towards the tree. He moved over there and she handed him the gifts she had for him, which was a book on forensic science from one of the forefathers in the field that she was fairly sure he didn't have and a new set of gloves. There were three for her from him: a soft wool hat and scarf set, a leather-bound journal with a nice pen for her to keep her thoughts in, and a silver and opal bracelet that he had said caught his eye and made him think of her since October was her birth month. She had to blink back tears when she thanked him, and then when he finished up his coffee he took his gifts and left. She hesitated on opening the rest of the gifts, cleaning the kitchen first, and then went back and began to open the other gifts. She didn't open the ones from Janine, though, saving those two for later. She got many wonderful things from the people she cared about, and she hoped when the day was over she could thank everyone properly. She hoped they would all be in the mood for that.

She left Janine's presents alone, not sure when she wanted to open them, and instead tried to fill up her day. There was a nagging pit of worry in her gut the more time went on. Finally she just couldn't do anything else, and so she decided to take a nap. She went to her bedroom and burrowed under her covers, putting a pillow over her face to give herself the illusion that it was dark outside. She had thought it would be hard but she fell asleep rather quickly, only to be awakened by her mobile ringing. She just missed the call, but before she could see who had called her it began ringing again, and she answered it. “Hello?” she asked sleepily.

“That moron. That unbelievable idiot,” Mary said.

“Who's the idiot?” Molly asked, sitting up.

“Sherlock. He drugged me and everyone in his parent's home, and he stole Mycroft's bloody laptop and he's gone to Magnussen,” she said. “And John's with him.”

“Oh dear God,” Molly said, her eyes wide.

“Mycroft took off after him, but...do you have any idea at all what he's planning?”

“None at all,” she said. “All I know is he wasn't sure he'd succeed.”

“Oh bloody hell,” Mary said.

“Where are you now?”

“At University Hospital. Mycroft and his parents insisted I be checked out, just to be sure since we were all drugged. I should be getting out in an hour or so.”

“I'll go wait with you. If it all goes south...” Molly began and then stopped.

“Thank you, Molly,” she said.

Molly hung up and then changed into regular clothing before grabbing her handbag and her coat and leaving as quickly as she could. She got the first available cab and then raced to the hospital, giving Mary's name and being directed to where she was. Apparently a call had already been made to allow Molly to be there even though she was not family. Molly guessed it was probably Mycroft's doing. She got to the room and saw Mary lying down in bed. “Have you heard anything?”

“Nothing yet,” she said. Molly pulled a chair next to the bed and sat down, reaching over for Mary's hand. She grasped it tightly and Mary squeezed it back. “Oh, I swear, I want to murder the both of them. Magnussen is dangerous in a way Moriarty could only dream of. Moriarty toyed with people; Magnussen can destroy someone so utterly there's no coming back from it.”

“Sherlock said he was protecting someone,” Molly said.

“Me. He was protecting me.” Molly looked at her. “Molly, there's a lot you don't know about me. I'm a complicated woman with a lot of secrets.”

“Should I know those secrets?” Molly asked.

“No, probably not,” she said. “You'll be safer if you don't.”

“Then don't tell me unless you absolutely have to,” she said, giving Mary a smile. “Only tell me if my life depends on it, all right? Because I know you well enough to know no matter what the secret is, you're still going to be my friend.”

“Even if I tell you I'm the one who shot Sherlock?” she asked.

Molly's eyes widened. “What?”

“I shot Sherlock. I was there to kill Magnussen and Sherlock got in the way and I shot Sherlock instead. I had no choice.” She shut her eyes and she could see she was waiting for Molly to pull away.

“I would have preferred if you'd shot Magnussen, but if you had no choice, I suppose I understand,” Molly said.

“How can you take this so calmly?” Mary asked, her eyes snapping open.

“I know exactly how and where Sherlock was shot. You could have killed him if you'd wanted, and you didn't. I mean, part of him pulling through was because he fell in the best way and he didn't go into shock, but in all honesty, as close as you were you could have put a bullet in his head or his heart, and you didn't,” Molly said. “You shot him in a way where he could survive but it would still appear to be a fatal shot.”

Mary stared at her. “I thought for sure you'd hate me, since he means so much to you.”

“I understand that Magnussen has a pretty tight grip on the people he chooses to exploit,” Molly said. “I don't doubt it was any different with you.”

“Oh, Molly,” Mary said, and Molly let go of her hand and embraced her instead. “I don't deserve friends like you.”

“Yes you do,” Molly said. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Mary's mobile began to ring. Molly pulled away. “You should answer that.”

Mary nodded and then reached over for it. Her eyes widened when she saw who was calling. “It's John.”

“With good news, I hope,” Molly said.

Mary nodded and answered the call. “John? Oh, John. Thank God.” Then she paused as her eyes grew wide. “He _what_?”

“What happened?” Molly asked, the pit of worry in her stomach growing bigger.

“Sherlock murdered Magnussen,” Mary said to her. “Shot him dead because all the blackmail he had was stored in his mind.”

“Oh my God,” Molly said, slumping back into the seat in shock. There was no way he'd get out of all of this with his freedom. This was a worse ending than his encounter with Moriarty had had. He had known that everything could go horribly wrong, but even she knew this was not what he'd expected. She shut her eyes and listened to Mary's end of the conversation vaguely. Apparently killing Magnussen was the only way Sherlock could end the blackmail and ensure John paid no consequences for being part of the plan with the laptop. John was being detained briefly but Mycroft was working on getting his freedom. Sherlock would not be so lucky.

When Mary hung up her mobile they stayed in silence until the doctor came in and told Mary she was cleared to go home. Mary got dressed again slowly, and the two women left the hospital and went to Mary and John's home. Molly tried her best to distract herself by making a meal for Mary and herself, but they both only picked at their food. Conversation was minimal throughout the entire time. Finally, at nearly eleven, John came through the door. Molly had been dozing on the sofa and when she saw the reunion between John and Mary she decided to give them their space. She got her things and then left, going out to the street level and looking for a cab. She didn't want to go home, and she didn't want to go get blindingly drunk at a pub. And there was someone else who deserved to know what had happened, if Sherlock hadn't already found a way to tell her. When she finally got a cab, she gave the driver Janine's address.

It didn't take very long for her to arrive, and she made her way up to Janine's flat with trepidation. When she got there she knocked on the door, lightly but loud enough to be heard. After a few minutes she heard the locks being undone, and the door opened. For the first time since the night in the rain she found herself face to face with Janine. “Molly,” she said quietly.

“I...” Molly said. She was suddenly at a loss for what to do or say.

“You look like something is wrong,” she said. 

“Something is. Something happened, and you should know,” she said. “But I mean, if Lizzie's here...”

Janine had a sad smile on her face. “She's at a friend's home. It was a rather awkward attempt at a family holiday, and it was with a lot of relief on both our parts that she left.”

“I'm sorry.”

“We're making progress, bit by bit,” she said. She opened the door wider. “Come in.” Molly nodded and stepped inside. “Do you want some wine?”

“I think that would be a good idea,” Molly said with a nod.

“I was just having a glass myself. I can pour you one.” Molly moved to her sofa and then sat down. Janine went to go get another glass and after a moment she joined Molly on the sofa. She poured wine into the glass and then handed it to Molly, who took a large drink. “All right. What happened?”

“Magnussen is dead,” she said after a moment. “Sherlock killed him.”

“Why on earth would he do _that_?” Janine asked, shock evident in her voice.

“To keep friends safe,” he said. “He had an elaborate plan and it failed and the only way to keep the people he cared about safe was to kill him.”

Janine reached over for her wine and took a drink. “What about the blackmail?”

“All the blackmail was in his head, apparently,” Molly said. “He had no physical proof anywhere in his home.”

Janine stared at her hands. “Part of me is glad it's over,” she said. “The other part wants to smack Sherlock upside the head repeatedly for being an idiot.”

“I think there's a queue for that,” Molly said with a wry smile. Janine looked over at her. “I thought you should know, since I don't know what's going to happen to him because of this.”

Janine nodded. “Thank you, Molly.”

Molly nodded back and then had some more of her wine. “Thank you for the gifts,” she said after a few moments silence.

“Did you open them yet?” Janine asked.

Molly shook her head. “Not yet. I wanted to wait a bit, and then I took a nap, and then Mary called, and...”

“Well, I think you'll like them when you open them,” she said.

“I have something for you too,” Molly said. “I was going to give it to you tomorrow.”

Janine studied her closely. “Does this mean you aren't angry at me anymore?” she asked quietly.

“I'm not angry,” she said. “I can understand why you did it and I think he's a right bastard for putting you in that position.” Molly set her glass down on the table and then turned to face Janine. “I care about you, quite a bit. And I think we have some things to work through, and it will take time, but...” She reached over for Janine's free hand. “I broke things off with Tom weeks ago. I would rather see what could develop with you then keep what I had with him. If you still want to, I mean.”

Janine smiled, setting down her wine glass and pulling her hand away from Molly's. She framed her face gently and then leaned in, pressing her lips against Molly's softly. Molly shut her eyes and kissed Janine back, resting her own hands on top of Janine's. It wasn't anywhere near as passionate as their first or second kiss, but this one was just as special to Molly. “I do still want to,” Janine said when she pulled away.

“Good,” Molly said. “I'm glad.”

“I am too,” Janine said. She leaned in and kissed Molly again and for the moment things seemed better in her world, Molly thought. Things seemed much, much better, and she was glad for it.


End file.
